39 weeks 4 days

Well, 3 days until my due date.  I wasn't totally expecting to make it this far, but for the non-baby part of my life, it's been good.  I've gotten through just about everything on our schedule/calendar, and today is Halloween, which my kids have been SO excited about.  We'll have soccer and a Halloween party, and then pretty much nothing but waiting for baby.  Which of course might not be a great thing, but I'm relieved to at least not have to worry about rearranging everyone's lives if I went into labor.

I have to admit I've been nervous.  At the movie we went to on Wednesday, Gecko kicked for 1.5 hours.  We watched the first half of the third original Star Wars movie on Thursday night, and Gecko kicked the whole time.  Then yesterday, Friday, suddenly almost no kicking.  Enough random solo kicks through the day to reassure me that he was still alive, but no major kicking sessions like I usually feel at least first thing in the morning and late at night before going to sleep.

We had friends for dinner, and while sitting at the table eating dessert, I brought up to my husband and friends that I hadn't felt much movement, so I finally called the midwife line just to be safe.  They told me that it was good I'd had something sweet, and I should drink something cold and lie on my left side for an hour and count kicks.  It was a little hard to do, since Tadpole insisted on cuddling with me, and her fussing and moving around made it hard to pick up some of the more subtle baby movements, but I did get to 10 within an hour, so I went to bed feeling a bit better.

Then I woke at 3:45, which is why I'm writing now at 5am.  I had a granola bar and a couple glasses of cold water, and Gecko JUST started moving, albeit very subtle movements again.  I'm hoping for a nice reading session on the couch with the kids tomorrow morning and some of his usual crazy antics so I feel more reassured, but for the moment I'm pretty content that at least he's moving.  The nurse I spoke to said he could have dropped and therefore not be moving as much since he's more squished, and that there are a lot of potential reasons for decreased movement.

In some ways, I find myself almost hoping for a c-section, even though in an ideal world it's not what I want.  I wouldn't have to worry about labor, failing my TOLAC/VBAC, emergency c-section, or Group B Strep.  Although I know it's not what I really want, it would be nice to just have a better idea of the end of the story - to know when the baby is coming, prepare for it, and have some control over the process.  But I KNOW I want this VBAC.  I picture an empowering labor and a possible water birth, holding my baby right after he's born and trying to nurse right away, a natural and calm entry to the world and a beautiful bonding experience for my husband, myself, and Gecko.  And a hopefully short, peaceful stay at the birthing center before being able to go home to my family.  It's what I'm really hoping for.

That reminds me, I had my last scheduled group prenatal appointment yesterday before my due date, and it went pretty well.  Blood pressure is inching up a tiny bit, but still in the normal realm, no swelling, and everything else checked out great.  The group was smaller than usual, but the women I feel the most connected to were there, and we talked about a lot of cool things. The midwife told me that I would have to stay in the hospital for 48 hours after the birth because of the Group B Strep issue, but that it can vary depending on what time I give birth (if I give birth at 1am, they won't kick me out at 1am two days later - I guess I might get to leave the night before?), whether I give birth on a weekend, that the rules are made by the pediatricians, and that my pediatrician might let me leave early if he was convinced that I would bring the baby back for a check-up the next day (which I wouldn't be possible if it were a weekend, I guess, so that's why the day of the week would be important).  I think my pediatrician would trust me to bring the baby in for a check-up, and we only live a few minutes from the hospital where his office is.  So I'm crossing my fingers that if all goes well and we were ready to go home before the 48 hours was up, we would be able to leave.

We also talked about how to induce labor on our own (plus medical methods of doing it), that we shouldn't really try unless we were past our due dates, and that our bodies wouldn't go into labor unless we were really ready.  So I'm crossing my fingers.  I may break out my pump on Sunday or early next week and give it a shot.  I just don't want to take too many chances with this little guy.  It's less than two weeks until my scheduled c-section date, and 3 days until my due date, so I know it's almost time to start thinking about these things.

Anyway, I've been up for 1.5 hours, I've felt a bit of movement, and I think it's time to try to get some more sleep.  Good night!