I'm starting to worry about my IF clinic a little bit. They don't seem to have things 100% together, and it's really starting to piss me off.
Granted ... my IVF coordinator left the week before I started, and apparently didn't arrange the hand-off of her patients perfectly. But still! I'm paying thousands of dollars ($17,000!) for a service, and what's more I'm spending my time and putting all kinds of crappy medications into my body and I would NOT be a happy camper if the clinic to which I am entrusting myself and my money made my cycle FUBAR through their own incompetence.
Now that I have that out of the way ...
I showed up yesterday at 3pm for my IVF egg class. First I paid off the balance I still owed. Then they gave me my Fol.lis.tim pen because the pharmacy for whatever reason didn't send me one. Then I told the receptionist that I was there for the class.
Receiptionist, in a cheery voice: "Uh ... what class? There's no class scheduled for today."
Me: "The egg class. It's on my schedule. Look, right here." (Pulling out my doctor-reviewed-and-signed IVF schedule.
Receptionist: "Oh, well that must be a mistake. Look, here in the computer it has you down on the 21st." (Cheerfuly smile)
Me: "But, um, I took like 3 hours off work to be here and I dont' really want to do that again (considering how much time off I'm taking already for IVF!). And I'm not driving back to work in the hurricaine force winds and rain now that I'm already in the town where I live."
Receptionist: "I'm sorry, but it's scheduled for next week."
Me, loudly to husband across waiting room: "Well, they made a mistake and scheduled our class wrong, so I guess we should go." (I'm not normally like that, I swear)
Other couple in waiting room: "What? We're here for the egg class too! It's on our schedule too!"
Receptionist: "Um ..."
My new IVF coordinator passing by: "I'll see if the embryologist is available to do a special class just for you! Sorry, but the coordinator who just left must have screwed up everyone's schedules ..." (LIE! My old coordinator scheduled me for the 21st. The new one rescheduled everything when she moved me up a week - guess she wasn't supposed to reschedule the class. Nice try blaming it on the person who doesn't work there anymore).
So we did the class. It was irritating. It was interesting. It was partly a big waste of time and partly useful. They presented all their data on their success rates and explained away any year or category that was low (there was a poor egg donor; and btw, our PGD outcomes are 100% when you only look at those who are choosing the gender versus those with actual infertility). They explained the entire embryology process in excruciating detail (far more than we needed to know), I suspect to make us feel like the thousands of dollars we spent was paying for something. And to make us feel totally safe that they will not mix up our eggs, sperm, or embryos.
All of this after asking us to change our IVF schedule with less than 24 hours warning, AND the coordinator ordering me a brand of HCG that I specifically requested she NOT order.
It all worked out in the end (except I guess I'm taking some HCG that I didn't want (this brand gives me a welt, none of the others did)). It just makes me a little nervous for the upcoming two or three weeks.
Fol.list.im starts today! CD 1 is here!!!!!!
Showing posts with label HCG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HCG. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Rambling and ranting
My IUI on Saturday went pretty well. I guess. The doctor had a hard time getting the catheter in, but after a few tries, I assume all was well. I always have a bit of cramping when the catheter goes in, and for a little while afterwards, but otherwise I felt totally normal.
AND I gave myself my own injection again yesterday! I'm so proud of myself. I am on yet another, different HCG (which apparently doesn't have a brand name? I'm confused about that), and the injections actually hurt. Which is why I wanted to do one myself, to see if it was my husband doing it badly, or the medicine itself. Anyway, it still hurt, so I guess it wasn't my husband. At least I haven't ended up with those awful welts I've had before.
Now I wait until ... Wednesday I think? ... to do the last injection and start the progesterone. I'm trying to decide if I should buy a bunch of dollar store tests and test out the HCG until it's out of my system, but I'm not sure I can really be bothered to do that. I'd rather just wait and try to forget about it.
I change my mind every day about whether I am optimistic or pessimistic. I am having crazy dreams about actually being pregnant, or actually getting a positive pregnancy test, or finding out about a pg test that is made especially for infertiles because ... well, I'm not sure why, or how it was supposed to be different. All I know is I was excited about it in my dream.
I had a group of friends over yesterday and we made and canned pickled vegetables, and then had a big delicious dinner. One of the friends is pregnant, and she and her husband were driving me NUTS.
I am not one of those people who will follow every pregnancy rule perfectly, because I think there's such a thing as being too cautious. I will not be stupid and get drunk, or eat raw fish, or go on a rollercoaster, or put anything besides my feet in a hot tub.
But I will probably have occasional sips of wine (especially a TASTE of VERY low-alcohol moscato late in my theoretical pregnancy when it wouldn't really matter), I will not have my husband test the host's meat with a meat thermometer to ENSURE that it is fully cooked while loudly announcing that his wife is pregnant, etc. I will not constantly draw attention to myself lamenting really trivial things that I shouldn't (but probably could) eat while being obviously thrilled that everyone is looking at me and my pregnant belly, all the while KNOWING that another person in the room, whose guest I am, is INFERTILE.
WHY do people behave that way? I know they're excited about having a baby, and I'm really excited for them, but the more I see them, the less I want to be around them because they seem to completely lack any sensitivity. I'm absolutely dreading their baby shower, and I'm considering not going.
The problem is, if/when I finally get pregnant, I want people to be there for me. I don't want to be the jerk who was completely unsupportive of everyone else, and then if it ever happens for me, I expect everyone to celebrate with me even though I wouldn't celebrate with them. I want my kids to grow up with my friends' kids, and turn our adult-themed evenings eventually into family gatherings.
I don't feel I've been as deeply affected by infertility as some others, although it's hard to say. But I think this experience has changed me, not necessarily for the better, and I'm worried about spending the rest of my life bitter and angry and resentful. I hope the joy of having a child, should I be so lucky, will make this whole experience worthwhile in the end.
AND I gave myself my own injection again yesterday! I'm so proud of myself. I am on yet another, different HCG (which apparently doesn't have a brand name? I'm confused about that), and the injections actually hurt. Which is why I wanted to do one myself, to see if it was my husband doing it badly, or the medicine itself. Anyway, it still hurt, so I guess it wasn't my husband. At least I haven't ended up with those awful welts I've had before.
Now I wait until ... Wednesday I think? ... to do the last injection and start the progesterone. I'm trying to decide if I should buy a bunch of dollar store tests and test out the HCG until it's out of my system, but I'm not sure I can really be bothered to do that. I'd rather just wait and try to forget about it.
I change my mind every day about whether I am optimistic or pessimistic. I am having crazy dreams about actually being pregnant, or actually getting a positive pregnancy test, or finding out about a pg test that is made especially for infertiles because ... well, I'm not sure why, or how it was supposed to be different. All I know is I was excited about it in my dream.
~
I had a group of friends over yesterday and we made and canned pickled vegetables, and then had a big delicious dinner. One of the friends is pregnant, and she and her husband were driving me NUTS.
I am not one of those people who will follow every pregnancy rule perfectly, because I think there's such a thing as being too cautious. I will not be stupid and get drunk, or eat raw fish, or go on a rollercoaster, or put anything besides my feet in a hot tub.
But I will probably have occasional sips of wine (especially a TASTE of VERY low-alcohol moscato late in my theoretical pregnancy when it wouldn't really matter), I will not have my husband test the host's meat with a meat thermometer to ENSURE that it is fully cooked while loudly announcing that his wife is pregnant, etc. I will not constantly draw attention to myself lamenting really trivial things that I shouldn't (but probably could) eat while being obviously thrilled that everyone is looking at me and my pregnant belly, all the while KNOWING that another person in the room, whose guest I am, is INFERTILE.
WHY do people behave that way? I know they're excited about having a baby, and I'm really excited for them, but the more I see them, the less I want to be around them because they seem to completely lack any sensitivity. I'm absolutely dreading their baby shower, and I'm considering not going.
The problem is, if/when I finally get pregnant, I want people to be there for me. I don't want to be the jerk who was completely unsupportive of everyone else, and then if it ever happens for me, I expect everyone to celebrate with me even though I wouldn't celebrate with them. I want my kids to grow up with my friends' kids, and turn our adult-themed evenings eventually into family gatherings.
I don't feel I've been as deeply affected by infertility as some others, although it's hard to say. But I think this experience has changed me, not necessarily for the better, and I'm worried about spending the rest of my life bitter and angry and resentful. I hope the joy of having a child, should I be so lucky, will make this whole experience worthwhile in the end.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Weekend!
I had a weekend full of ups and downs, but right now I'm feeling pretty even-keeled right in the middle. I think it's because I'm right at the beginning of the 2ww.
Friday night I had my book club meeting, which was fun and thankfully ended early so I could go home and go to sleep. Saturday, my husband and I went to the farmer's market where I bought a beautiful casserole dish that I've been coveting for a while. We also bought fish and other seafood, and ground pork (reason will be forthcoming). Unfortunately, the fish never got put in the fridge and so spent 24 hours out on the counter while I was away. My husband is a little absent-minded and never noticed the bag in the kitchen.
I was away because I went up to Nevada City for a girl's night/weekend. It was fun, but I think I'm getting too old for this stuff. We did a clothing swap, had a huge dinner, and then went out drinking. We stayed up until 2am. I was SO TIRED, but I didn't want to be a party pooper, and I also didn't want to walk home alone, but I had to leave by 9am Sunday morning to get back for my IUI.
I told most of the girls about the IUI - the ones I am closest to, anyway. They were all shocked and said they had no idea we'd even been trying. They were all very supportive though, I hope that I don't regret telling them. Out of the 6 of us, 3 of us are married (the others are single, no significant other). I am one of the three married ones, one friend hasn't thought about trying yet (but they use natural methods of birth control and have had no accidents), and the other is experiencing infertility (I think only 6-9 months so far). That's pretty bad statistics for us.
I rushed back to Davis on Sunday for my IUI and got back way too early. That gave me time to get home and take care of a few things. The husband and I headed over and the clinic was 45 minutes late again! Is that normal? It's very frustrating to spend an hour of my Sunday at the clinic for a 3-minute procedure. There were about 3 other women/couples there, too. Busy morning for the clinic, I guess.
Then we had a nice picnic lunch at our co-op, and spent an afternoon in the garden. We bought chicekn wire and posts to build a fence around our community garden because we've had trouble with people walking through it, taking stuff, and leaving trash. Also, our garden neighbors let the weeds grow several feet tall right upt he border, and then they tend to collapse into our garden. The fence isn't super sturdy and it's only 3 feet high, but it's too high to step over easily and it more clearly delineates the boundaries of the garden, so I'm hoping it will help. We can also use it to grow things like peas and beans.
Want to know more about my garden? I'm growing tomatoes (about 30 plants, probably 6-8 different varieties), peppers (30 plants, 2-3 varieties), cucumbers, eggplant (not planted yet, probably 2 varieties), garlic, onions, shallots, leeks, carrots, lettuce, beets, radishes, green beans, basil, and parsley. I'm hoping to grow some pumpkin or winter squash, too, but we'll have to see how that goes. We get way more food than we can use right away - in the summer, I preserve a lot of it by canning and freezing it, and we give some away to friends. I do most of the actual gardening work. My husband is in charge of watering and he helps with bigger projects like the fence.
So anyway - that was my weekend. I'm actually feeling very positive about the IUI after all, but I'm trying very hard not to get my hopes up. More injections, suppositories, and plenty of waiting to come.
Friday night I had my book club meeting, which was fun and thankfully ended early so I could go home and go to sleep. Saturday, my husband and I went to the farmer's market where I bought a beautiful casserole dish that I've been coveting for a while. We also bought fish and other seafood, and ground pork (reason will be forthcoming). Unfortunately, the fish never got put in the fridge and so spent 24 hours out on the counter while I was away. My husband is a little absent-minded and never noticed the bag in the kitchen.
I was away because I went up to Nevada City for a girl's night/weekend. It was fun, but I think I'm getting too old for this stuff. We did a clothing swap, had a huge dinner, and then went out drinking. We stayed up until 2am. I was SO TIRED, but I didn't want to be a party pooper, and I also didn't want to walk home alone, but I had to leave by 9am Sunday morning to get back for my IUI.
I told most of the girls about the IUI - the ones I am closest to, anyway. They were all shocked and said they had no idea we'd even been trying. They were all very supportive though, I hope that I don't regret telling them. Out of the 6 of us, 3 of us are married (the others are single, no significant other). I am one of the three married ones, one friend hasn't thought about trying yet (but they use natural methods of birth control and have had no accidents), and the other is experiencing infertility (I think only 6-9 months so far). That's pretty bad statistics for us.
I rushed back to Davis on Sunday for my IUI and got back way too early. That gave me time to get home and take care of a few things. The husband and I headed over and the clinic was 45 minutes late again! Is that normal? It's very frustrating to spend an hour of my Sunday at the clinic for a 3-minute procedure. There were about 3 other women/couples there, too. Busy morning for the clinic, I guess.
Then we had a nice picnic lunch at our co-op, and spent an afternoon in the garden. We bought chicekn wire and posts to build a fence around our community garden because we've had trouble with people walking through it, taking stuff, and leaving trash. Also, our garden neighbors let the weeds grow several feet tall right upt he border, and then they tend to collapse into our garden. The fence isn't super sturdy and it's only 3 feet high, but it's too high to step over easily and it more clearly delineates the boundaries of the garden, so I'm hoping it will help. We can also use it to grow things like peas and beans.
Want to know more about my garden? I'm growing tomatoes (about 30 plants, probably 6-8 different varieties), peppers (30 plants, 2-3 varieties), cucumbers, eggplant (not planted yet, probably 2 varieties), garlic, onions, shallots, leeks, carrots, lettuce, beets, radishes, green beans, basil, and parsley. I'm hoping to grow some pumpkin or winter squash, too, but we'll have to see how that goes. We get way more food than we can use right away - in the summer, I preserve a lot of it by canning and freezing it, and we give some away to friends. I do most of the actual gardening work. My husband is in charge of watering and he helps with bigger projects like the fence.
So anyway - that was my weekend. I'm actually feeling very positive about the IUI after all, but I'm trying very hard not to get my hopes up. More injections, suppositories, and plenty of waiting to come.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
This week is SO SLOW
10 dpo, 4 days to go.
I have nothing exciting to write about, I'm sorry.
Life is fun right now, but work is boring, and work is where I spend most of my time. It's really tough to get through each day, sitting at my desk in this cubicle surrounded by paper, the blinking message light on my phone, constant inane emails from the same people over and over who don't understand what I'm trying to tel them.
The Banff Mountain Film Festival last night was pretty good, it always helps to put things in perspective, watching films about nature and the mountains and the beauty of the outdoors. And it was nice to see a few friends, even if I was stressed out that we were late (I have to get over that).
There are so many blogs I'm reading in which the writers expect to know within the next week if their current cycle is successful. I'm happy to count myself as one of them, even though without the IUI I don't have much faith in a BFP.
I'm already picturing getting up to POAS and being able to crawl back into bed and tell my husband that it worked. It's a really, really nice fantasy that makes me really happy.
I'm trying to balance it out by picturing what I'll do if it's negative, too. But that really depresses me. I want to maintain a zen state of mind, but it's pretty hard to do.
I think I might be having some prometrium side effects - I feel slightly crampy, like I'm pre-AF, and have been feeling it for the last couple days. I also seem to be experiencing some skin issues (ugh, zits). I have no idea if either is related to the meds, though. I feel like so far I've gotten off pretty light as far as the progesterone goes.
Sunday is 14 dpo. I'm tempted to POAS on Saturday - since my last HCG shot was so much less than it was supposed to be (0.2 cc's instead of 0.5), I'm thinking that it shouldn't cause a false positive. But my goal is to hold out until Sunday. I'm going to really try.
4 days to go.
I have nothing exciting to write about, I'm sorry.
Life is fun right now, but work is boring, and work is where I spend most of my time. It's really tough to get through each day, sitting at my desk in this cubicle surrounded by paper, the blinking message light on my phone, constant inane emails from the same people over and over who don't understand what I'm trying to tel them.
The Banff Mountain Film Festival last night was pretty good, it always helps to put things in perspective, watching films about nature and the mountains and the beauty of the outdoors. And it was nice to see a few friends, even if I was stressed out that we were late (I have to get over that).
There are so many blogs I'm reading in which the writers expect to know within the next week if their current cycle is successful. I'm happy to count myself as one of them, even though without the IUI I don't have much faith in a BFP.
I'm already picturing getting up to POAS and being able to crawl back into bed and tell my husband that it worked. It's a really, really nice fantasy that makes me really happy.
I'm trying to balance it out by picturing what I'll do if it's negative, too. But that really depresses me. I want to maintain a zen state of mind, but it's pretty hard to do.
I think I might be having some prometrium side effects - I feel slightly crampy, like I'm pre-AF, and have been feeling it for the last couple days. I also seem to be experiencing some skin issues (ugh, zits). I have no idea if either is related to the meds, though. I feel like so far I've gotten off pretty light as far as the progesterone goes.
Sunday is 14 dpo. I'm tempted to POAS on Saturday - since my last HCG shot was so much less than it was supposed to be (0.2 cc's instead of 0.5), I'm thinking that it shouldn't cause a false positive. But my goal is to hold out until Sunday. I'm going to really try.
4 days to go.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Injection Super-heroine!
Yup, that's me! I gave myself my own injection! I'm SO proud of myself.
Granted, it was supposed to be 0.5 cc, and I only had 0.2 cc left. That's what gave me the courage to do it - knowing it would be really quick.
And also, because I'm a dumb-ass, I left my purse at my office. Luckily, the really nice train conductor believed me when I told him I had a monthly pass and let me go home anyway.
Hopefully tomorrow I find out how badly I messed up my knee. And how much the progesterone suppositories are going to affect me, since I take the first one tonight. Eek.
Still 10 days left in the 2ww.
Granted, it was supposed to be 0.5 cc, and I only had 0.2 cc left. That's what gave me the courage to do it - knowing it would be really quick.
And also, because I'm a dumb-ass, I left my purse at my office. Luckily, the really nice train conductor believed me when I told him I had a monthly pass and let me go home anyway.
Hopefully tomorrow I find out how badly I messed up my knee. And how much the progesterone suppositories are going to affect me, since I take the first one tonight. Eek.
Still 10 days left in the 2ww.
Monday, February 16, 2009
12dpiui #1
I'm in Italy, and things are really good from every viewpoint except the infertility one. The weather here is extremely cold, but sunny and beautiful. It's really nice to see friends and family here, and my Italian has improved a lot, as it does every visit. I've already spent a day cross-country skiing, and the landscape is absolutely gorgeous under all this snow.
Actually, one thing besides infertility that is not going so well is sleep. I'm terribly jet-lagged, and last night finally managed to get a full 9 hours of sleep, although I had a break from 2am to 5am in which I could not sleep. It sort of reminds me of infertility (maybe tonight it will happen!).
As far as infertility goes - I have had very mild, period-like cramps for days. It's hard to say what it's related to, because I've been terribly dehydrated and jet-lagged, and not feeling top-notch in general, so it could be anything. Last night I had the tiniest amount of spotting. My boobs have been sore for days now. The mixed messages are killing me. But because of the spotting, I'm pretty much expecting AF in the next day or two, although I'm sure the hope won't completely die until it happens, and then it'll hit me hard.
Although in some ways it will be nice, b/c then at least I can drink all the lovely Italian wine that is offered to me.
I'm sorely tempted to take a pg test, but it's only been 8 days since my last HCG injection. If I get a negative it could be b/c it's too early, and if I get a positive, it could be b/c I still have HCG in my system. I know I should just wait it out a few more days, but man! I want to know RIGHT NOW!
Infertility sure brings out the best in me. Instead of actually having children, I start acting like one.
Actually, one thing besides infertility that is not going so well is sleep. I'm terribly jet-lagged, and last night finally managed to get a full 9 hours of sleep, although I had a break from 2am to 5am in which I could not sleep. It sort of reminds me of infertility (maybe tonight it will happen!).
As far as infertility goes - I have had very mild, period-like cramps for days. It's hard to say what it's related to, because I've been terribly dehydrated and jet-lagged, and not feeling top-notch in general, so it could be anything. Last night I had the tiniest amount of spotting. My boobs have been sore for days now. The mixed messages are killing me. But because of the spotting, I'm pretty much expecting AF in the next day or two, although I'm sure the hope won't completely die until it happens, and then it'll hit me hard.
Although in some ways it will be nice, b/c then at least I can drink all the lovely Italian wine that is offered to me.
I'm sorely tempted to take a pg test, but it's only been 8 days since my last HCG injection. If I get a negative it could be b/c it's too early, and if I get a positive, it could be b/c I still have HCG in my system. I know I should just wait it out a few more days, but man! I want to know RIGHT NOW!
Infertility sure brings out the best in me. Instead of actually having children, I start acting like one.
Monday, February 9, 2009
2ww
Only three days until I leave for Italy, wheeeee! The next few days should be quite busy - tonight we visit with friends before we leave, Tuesday I do our last load of laundry, Wednesday we pack. Thursday I sleep in!!!!! We leave for the airport probably around noon on Thursday. Yay!
Which means we land in France Friday afternoon (early Friday morning here) and arrive in Italy Friday evening (still Friday morning here).
So that means right now I have about 9 days left in the 2ww, and when we arrive it will be about 5 days left. Five days full of delicious Italian food and fantastic Italian skiing.
I am determined to put off taking a HPT until Wednesday, February 18, which is both exactly 2 weeks after the IUI and 10 days after my last HCG shot, which is the minimum amount of time for both of those factors. I definitely need to wait for the HCG to clear my system so I don't get a false positive. All of this assuming that AF doesn't come before then, of course.
I did my last HCG shot yesterday (or rather my hubby did). It was supposed to be .5 cc, but we only had about .3 ccs left, probably not even that. Super easy, I'm not worried about having to do this again at all.
I also bought some HPTs - two different kinds, although they're both digital and actually say "pregnant" or, more likely, "not pregnant" rather than doing the two-pink-line thing.
It would be nice to NOT have to buy them before I miss my period (which is my usual modus operandi, which is why I've almost never bought a HPT before) and help avoid getting my hopes up, but my hubby's town in Italy is teensy tiny and there would be no way to buy one there and keep hush hush about it. If they even sell them there. Because really, in a town of 500 people, what girl would buy a pregnancy test at the local pharmacy?
Not to mention, I'd rather have the instructions and everything in my native language
Which means we land in France Friday afternoon (early Friday morning here) and arrive in Italy Friday evening (still Friday morning here).
So that means right now I have about 9 days left in the 2ww, and when we arrive it will be about 5 days left. Five days full of delicious Italian food and fantastic Italian skiing.
I am determined to put off taking a HPT until Wednesday, February 18, which is both exactly 2 weeks after the IUI and 10 days after my last HCG shot, which is the minimum amount of time for both of those factors. I definitely need to wait for the HCG to clear my system so I don't get a false positive. All of this assuming that AF doesn't come before then, of course.
I did my last HCG shot yesterday (or rather my hubby did). It was supposed to be .5 cc, but we only had about .3 ccs left, probably not even that. Super easy, I'm not worried about having to do this again at all.
I also bought some HPTs - two different kinds, although they're both digital and actually say "pregnant" or, more likely, "not pregnant" rather than doing the two-pink-line thing.
It would be nice to NOT have to buy them before I miss my period (which is my usual modus operandi, which is why I've almost never bought a HPT before) and help avoid getting my hopes up, but my hubby's town in Italy is teensy tiny and there would be no way to buy one there and keep hush hush about it. If they even sell them there. Because really, in a town of 500 people, what girl would buy a pregnancy test at the local pharmacy?
Not to mention, I'd rather have the instructions and everything in my native language
Friday, February 6, 2009
Injection #2
... was a breeze. It sure does get easier to do these things.
I still don't know if I could do it to myself, and I do wish my hubby would go a bit faster, but I know he's trying to be careful and not hurt me.
CD 17 today. 2dpiui. 6 days until I leave for Italy. 12 days until I want to wait to test. Hopefully I don't break down and test earlier - although with the time difference, if I test Wednesday morning it's Tuesday night here, so even if I wait it will still be slightly early.
I hate the two-week wait!
I still don't know if I could do it to myself, and I do wish my hubby would go a bit faster, but I know he's trying to be careful and not hurt me.
CD 17 today. 2dpiui. 6 days until I leave for Italy. 12 days until I want to wait to test. Hopefully I don't break down and test earlier - although with the time difference, if I test Wednesday morning it's Tuesday night here, so even if I wait it will still be slightly early.
I hate the two-week wait!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Update on IUI #1
Today is CD 16 (I think?).
Yesterday I ended up having horrible cramping most of the day after the IUI. I ended up taking some pain killers with dinner. Luckily today I feel fine.
Except I have HCG shot #2 tonight. Well, I'm much less nervous than last time. Actually, it wasn't the injection that hurt last time, it was how sore the spot was for the next 24 hours.
I have a lot to keep my mind busy during the 2ww (like my 15-hour flight to Italy), so hopefully the time will FLY by. Only 13 days to go.
Yesterday I ended up having horrible cramping most of the day after the IUI. I ended up taking some pain killers with dinner. Luckily today I feel fine.
Except I have HCG shot #2 tonight. Well, I'm much less nervous than last time. Actually, it wasn't the injection that hurt last time, it was how sore the spot was for the next 24 hours.
I have a lot to keep my mind busy during the 2ww (like my 15-hour flight to Italy), so hopefully the time will FLY by. Only 13 days to go.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I'm now an injection veteran
I did it!
Actually, my husband did it. I had to take my first HCG shot last night at 11pm. It was definitely tough for me to stay up that late. I got everything ready around 10:45 without a problem, but I was shaking. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to do it myself, so I just asked L if he would do it.
And it went ok. It did hurt a little bit, and it seemed to take forever, and it actually still hurts a bit to touch, but I’m not nearly as freaked out for the next two (which are only half the amount, so they will be twice as fast). I may even try to do the last one myself. We’ll see.
Tomorrow is the big day. I’m crossing my fingers and just about everything else (except my legs, of course).
Actually, my husband did it. I had to take my first HCG shot last night at 11pm. It was definitely tough for me to stay up that late. I got everything ready around 10:45 without a problem, but I was shaking. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to do it myself, so I just asked L if he would do it.
And it went ok. It did hurt a little bit, and it seemed to take forever, and it actually still hurts a bit to touch, but I’m not nearly as freaked out for the next two (which are only half the amount, so they will be twice as fast). I may even try to do the last one myself. We’ll see.
Tomorrow is the big day. I’m crossing my fingers and just about everything else (except my legs, of course).
Monday, February 2, 2009
Big, huge, ginormous sigh of relief
I had an awesome appointment at the IF clinic this morning. The Clomid did its job, I guess. We saw two nicely sized follicles (too big maybe? 22-23mm) plus one that was borderline – just under the threshold for maturity (~14mm). So, 2-3 possibilities there. Yay! We’re both really excited.
We also got instructed on how to do the HCG shot. They’re NOT intramuscular. Praise God. I don’t know why they include those instructions that freaked me out. They let us practice with real syringes, and I feel pretty comfortable. I’m not sure yet if I’ll do it myself or if Loris will do it, I guess we’ll see how I feel when the time comes. The time, by the way, will come at 11pm tonight.
THEN I have to do two more injections, one on Thursday and one on Sunday. I hope those will be a piece of cake after this first one. They said I’m doing two more to boost my hormone levels.
The IUI is scheduled for Wednesday at 11am. I’m so ready for this. I’m so excited.
I don’t know if anyone is reading this, but I have a question for you. If you’re going through IUI or IVF, or have done so in the past, has your husband or partner come to all of your appointments with you? They’re starting to add up to a lot of missed work.
Or if you haven’t done those treatments yet, but are planning to, will your husband or partner come to all of the appointments with you?
We also got instructed on how to do the HCG shot. They’re NOT intramuscular. Praise God. I don’t know why they include those instructions that freaked me out. They let us practice with real syringes, and I feel pretty comfortable. I’m not sure yet if I’ll do it myself or if Loris will do it, I guess we’ll see how I feel when the time comes. The time, by the way, will come at 11pm tonight.
THEN I have to do two more injections, one on Thursday and one on Sunday. I hope those will be a piece of cake after this first one. They said I’m doing two more to boost my hormone levels.
The IUI is scheduled for Wednesday at 11am. I’m so ready for this. I’m so excited.
I don’t know if anyone is reading this, but I have a question for you. If you’re going through IUI or IVF, or have done so in the past, has your husband or partner come to all of your appointments with you? They’re starting to add up to a lot of missed work.
Or if you haven’t done those treatments yet, but are planning to, will your husband or partner come to all of the appointments with you?
Friday, January 30, 2009
Holy freakout batman
I am completely freaked out about the HCG injection now. I got my package from the pharmacy yesterday. At first I almost had a heart attack when I saw the needles - I wouldn't call them huge, but they were much bigger than I expected. Then I read the instructions and realized that the other needles were much smaller, and those were for the actual injection. The bigger needles are for getting the medicine into the syringe.
But reading the instructions scared me a bit because I discovered that it is an intramuscular injection, not subcutaneous. So I went to Stirrup Queens and read about intramuscular injections, and completely freaked out. I'm still freaked out. And I have at least 3-4 days until I even have to do the injection. Now I'm waiting for Monday with a mix of excitement and total dread.
L told me a story about how his grandmother had to give him a series of injections when he was a kid, and he hated it too. And how one time she was on vacation at the sea, so they went to spend the weekend there so she could give him his injection, and instead of enjoying the trip, he thought about the injection the whole time. I think he was trying to tell me not to spoil my whole weekend, but also that he understood. He's such a sweet boy.
But I'm still freaked out.
I cried last night, both at the unfairness of it all and because we might have to cancel our trip to Italy because of some of L's asshole employees (and probably because of the Clomid, too). And I thought about what a big baby I am, when other people (but eventually maybe me, oh God) have to give themselves these types of injections daily or even more than once a day, and I'm freaking out about a one-time deal. Except maybe it won't end up being a one-time deal. Now I'm freaking out that maybe this IUI won't work the first time (and the odds say "no"), and I'll have to go through all of this again, and then maybe again, and then maybe move onto something even worse. And I know, one step at a time and all that, but seriously. It feels much more real now.
So excuse me while I throw myself a serious pity party.
But reading the instructions scared me a bit because I discovered that it is an intramuscular injection, not subcutaneous. So I went to Stirrup Queens and read about intramuscular injections, and completely freaked out. I'm still freaked out. And I have at least 3-4 days until I even have to do the injection. Now I'm waiting for Monday with a mix of excitement and total dread.
L told me a story about how his grandmother had to give him a series of injections when he was a kid, and he hated it too. And how one time she was on vacation at the sea, so they went to spend the weekend there so she could give him his injection, and instead of enjoying the trip, he thought about the injection the whole time. I think he was trying to tell me not to spoil my whole weekend, but also that he understood. He's such a sweet boy.
But I'm still freaked out.
I cried last night, both at the unfairness of it all and because we might have to cancel our trip to Italy because of some of L's asshole employees (and probably because of the Clomid, too). And I thought about what a big baby I am, when other people (but eventually maybe me, oh God) have to give themselves these types of injections daily or even more than once a day, and I'm freaking out about a one-time deal. Except maybe it won't end up being a one-time deal. Now I'm freaking out that maybe this IUI won't work the first time (and the odds say "no"), and I'll have to go through all of this again, and then maybe again, and then maybe move onto something even worse. And I know, one step at a time and all that, but seriously. It feels much more real now.
So excuse me while I throw myself a serious pity party.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Two for the price of one (no, not twins)
The SHG went great today! The doctor said I had a beautiful uterus, so I felt particularly proud of myself (for once). She’s such an awesome doctor.
We checked out my ovaries, and my right one is apparently responding well to the Clomid. As far as the left one – she said “you know that saying about how you have all your eggs in one basket?” I asked if that was normal, and she said it was fine.
I took some pain medication this morning, so I don’t know if that affected anything, but the procedure itself was painless. It was slightly uncomfortable when she was trying to get the catheter in, but otherwise I didn’t have any problems. I AM having some minor cramps this afternoon.
So we were of course thrilled. I mean, it would be nice to have a diagnosis, but since we’re already invested in this cycle to some degree, it would NOT have been nice to have to cancel it. Actually, it was amazing, on the way back to his office L even said “so we have some hope for this cycle, right?”
That’s not really characteristic of my completely laid-back, no expectations, life-happens husband. It was a little weird.
BUT. Before we left, they mentioned that they hadn’t received my bloodwork. Um …? I was never told to do bloodwork (aside from a brief mention at our initial consultation). Whoops. They gave me a lab slip and I went straight over there and did it right away. I even threw in a toxoplasmosis test for good measure (I have a kitty).
This was a different lab than we went to before, and the needle kinda hurt, I guess I’m a bit of a wuss. I used to give blood all the time, but I never really liked doing it. I think I’m just getting nervous for the HCG shot.
Anyway. I got TWO sets of tests done during ONE break from the office. Go me!
Update at 4 pm - Having yucky cramps now, AND I'm hot (is my office hot or is it the Clomid? I don't know). I'm REALLY looking forward to going home.
We checked out my ovaries, and my right one is apparently responding well to the Clomid. As far as the left one – she said “you know that saying about how you have all your eggs in one basket?” I asked if that was normal, and she said it was fine.
I took some pain medication this morning, so I don’t know if that affected anything, but the procedure itself was painless. It was slightly uncomfortable when she was trying to get the catheter in, but otherwise I didn’t have any problems. I AM having some minor cramps this afternoon.
So we were of course thrilled. I mean, it would be nice to have a diagnosis, but since we’re already invested in this cycle to some degree, it would NOT have been nice to have to cancel it. Actually, it was amazing, on the way back to his office L even said “so we have some hope for this cycle, right?”
That’s not really characteristic of my completely laid-back, no expectations, life-happens husband. It was a little weird.
BUT. Before we left, they mentioned that they hadn’t received my bloodwork. Um …? I was never told to do bloodwork (aside from a brief mention at our initial consultation). Whoops. They gave me a lab slip and I went straight over there and did it right away. I even threw in a toxoplasmosis test for good measure (I have a kitty).
This was a different lab than we went to before, and the needle kinda hurt, I guess I’m a bit of a wuss. I used to give blood all the time, but I never really liked doing it. I think I’m just getting nervous for the HCG shot.
Anyway. I got TWO sets of tests done during ONE break from the office. Go me!
Update at 4 pm - Having yucky cramps now, AND I'm hot (is my office hot or is it the Clomid? I don't know). I'm REALLY looking forward to going home.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Taking medications: Check
Taking prenatals: Check
Obsessing: Check
Endless google research: Check
Appointments made: Check
I'm ready! Totally ready!
A pharmacy called me today out of the blue to arrange to ship my HCG shot. My doctor didn't mention that she had called in the prescription nor that it would be shipped from a pharmacy on the east coast, so I was a bit startled to get the call.
And now I'm a little nervous about giving myself the shot, but hey, it's nothing. I can do it! I'm sure of it.
I'm actually kind of happy that I'll get the SHG tomorrow. At least I don't totally feel like I'm twiddling my thumbs for a whole week.
Taking prenatals: Check
Obsessing: Check
Endless google research: Check
Appointments made: Check
I'm ready! Totally ready!
A pharmacy called me today out of the blue to arrange to ship my HCG shot. My doctor didn't mention that she had called in the prescription nor that it would be shipped from a pharmacy on the east coast, so I was a bit startled to get the call.
And now I'm a little nervous about giving myself the shot, but hey, it's nothing. I can do it! I'm sure of it.
I'm actually kind of happy that I'll get the SHG tomorrow. At least I don't totally feel like I'm twiddling my thumbs for a whole week.
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