I can't BELIEVE that IVF starts next week. Holy crap! Where has the time gone? Only 9 days until I start Lu.pr.on! Which reminds me, I still need to get that stuff ordered. And only 7 days until my injection class.
Speaking of which ... I'm having terrible anxiety about the PIO. I'm not thrilled about the dozens of sub-q shots I'll be getting, many of which I'll probably have to do myself. But I'm so freaking scared of the PIO. I know that everyone says it's not as bad as they expected, and it's better than the suppositories, but OMG. A huge needle. In my ass. Every day for weeks. And possibly months.
It's not even the needle that seems like the worst part. It's the idea of getting these shots every day and getting more and more sore and having to keep doing it. If it was just one, fine. No problem. I mean, I'd hate it and I'd probably cry, but then it would be over and I could go on with my life. The idea of getting it over with only to start dreading having to do it again in 24 hours - that's horrifying. I'm already anxious now, I'm not sure how I'm going to live with the anxiety then.
Even worse, to me, is the possibility that I could get these freaking shots for two weeks for NO REASON. IVF #1 could easily fail. Hell, it's possible we might not make it to retreival or transfer, of course I know that. But somehow the build-up to that point seems better - sub-q injections, hope, monitoring, ultrasounds. It all sounds very optimistic and positive and pro-active.
And then - two weeks of IM shots in my ass and having no idea what the hell is going on and what will happen. And I thought the 2ww was bad with the IUIs! I'm not even there yet with this IVF and I'm already stressing about it.
Trying to take my husband's point of view and look at the bright side - at least the 2ww is slightly shorter due to the 3 or 5 days the potential embies spend on the outside before transfer. It's the tiny ray of sunshine I'm hanging onto.
That, and the idea that maybe they'll finally figure out what's wrong with us.
Showing posts with label IVF planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF planning. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Baseline u/s for IVF #1
IVF #1 is right around the corner.
I had my baseline today. Everything looked good, thin uterine lining (from the BCPs) and no cysts. The doctor didn't say a word about resting follicles (antral follices?) but I can more or less recognize them now and it looked like there were a lot. Yay!
The gave us a huge pile of forms to take home, read, and sign. I'm not 100% thrilled with all of it. The part that gets me the most is that if you do the shared risk package (1 fresh IVF, up to 6 FETs until all preserved embryos are gone, and then another fresh IVF), if any pregnancy, through IVF OR spontaneous, makes it past 10 weeks, you forfeit any further treatment. So if IVF #1 or any FET works, or I somehow magically spontaneously get pregnant (that's like spontaneous combustion, right?), and I miscarry at 11 weeks, that's it. Start from scratch.
I'm not really ok with that. Why not 12 weeks? Isn't that when the risk of miscarriage really goes down? I mean, maybe they're not counting the two weeks pre-transfer, but I thought 10 weeks gestation was universally understood to mean 10 weeks since the beginning of the cycle when you get pregnant.
Well, we will bring this up with them before signing the forms. Otherwise, I'm so excited to get started.
Except I just realized that I didn't ask the doctor about PIO v. suppositories. Crap. I guess I'm getting PIO. I'll write my next post about progesterone and the various feelings I have toward it (mostly dread) and why I objectively think suppositories might be better (international travel).
BTW - I hope it's obvious that I wrote my last post under the influence of Vi.cod.in. I think it was the last one I took. My leg is doing much better, although my lack of mobility is still frustrating the heck out of me.
Oh, and I lost weight! At least 6 pounds! Nar.c.otic painkillers, loss of appetite, vomiting, and MAJOR loss of leg muscle will probably do that, though. Seriously, I don't have a right quad muscle anymore, it's very sad. At least my right leg could be a supermodel (not the rest of me, though).
Long rambling post, but the moral of the story is - it's good to be back in the game.
I had my baseline today. Everything looked good, thin uterine lining (from the BCPs) and no cysts. The doctor didn't say a word about resting follicles (antral follices?) but I can more or less recognize them now and it looked like there were a lot. Yay!
The gave us a huge pile of forms to take home, read, and sign. I'm not 100% thrilled with all of it. The part that gets me the most is that if you do the shared risk package (1 fresh IVF, up to 6 FETs until all preserved embryos are gone, and then another fresh IVF), if any pregnancy, through IVF OR spontaneous, makes it past 10 weeks, you forfeit any further treatment. So if IVF #1 or any FET works, or I somehow magically spontaneously get pregnant (that's like spontaneous combustion, right?), and I miscarry at 11 weeks, that's it. Start from scratch.
I'm not really ok with that. Why not 12 weeks? Isn't that when the risk of miscarriage really goes down? I mean, maybe they're not counting the two weeks pre-transfer, but I thought 10 weeks gestation was universally understood to mean 10 weeks since the beginning of the cycle when you get pregnant.
Well, we will bring this up with them before signing the forms. Otherwise, I'm so excited to get started.
Except I just realized that I didn't ask the doctor about PIO v. suppositories. Crap. I guess I'm getting PIO. I'll write my next post about progesterone and the various feelings I have toward it (mostly dread) and why I objectively think suppositories might be better (international travel).
BTW - I hope it's obvious that I wrote my last post under the influence of Vi.cod.in. I think it was the last one I took. My leg is doing much better, although my lack of mobility is still frustrating the heck out of me.
Oh, and I lost weight! At least 6 pounds! Nar.c.otic painkillers, loss of appetite, vomiting, and MAJOR loss of leg muscle will probably do that, though. Seriously, I don't have a right quad muscle anymore, it's very sad. At least my right leg could be a supermodel (not the rest of me, though).
Long rambling post, but the moral of the story is - it's good to be back in the game.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
IVF thoughts
I just got my schedule to start IVF. I'm excited about it. So far, it goes like this - I'd love any IVF vets to tell me if this is similar to what you went through:
Sept. 22 - baseline u/s
Oct 15 - start Lupron, 10 units per day (stop BCPs after a couple days of this)
Oct 22 - decrease Lupron to 5 units per day, start FSH at 225 units per day
Oct. 30 - monitoring u/s
That's it - no other appointments as far as I can tell, except my injection classes. It seems like when I read about other people's IVF schedules, they have regular blood and u/s monitoring. This sounds to me like I won't know until pretty much trigger day how many eggs I have, much less if I have any at all.
The other thing we have to decide, and soon, is whether or not to do the "shared risk" plan. The way it works at our clinic is, you either pay $8500 for one cycle, plus meds, OR you pay $14,500 plus meds for one fresh cycle, up to six FETs (depending on how many frozen embryos you have), and then one more fresh cycle, all of which must be used up within one year of start the original IVF cycle. Considering how much the meds cost, it's probably more like $11,500 for one cycle plus $17,500-$25,000 or more for the package deal.
I feel like in some ways, we have a lot on our side. We're young and healthy, and they can't find anything wrong with us. There's absolutely no reason why it wouldn't work the first time. On the other hand, we're unexplained - there's no real known reason why we can't get pregnant and therefore it could be something that IVF can't fix.
One of the things I keep thinking about is the jinx factor. If we only spend $8,500, we're pretty much ensuring we'll need to try again, since we didn't pay for the back-up. If we spend $14,500 as a safety net, surely it will work the first time. Sort of like how you should always wear your seatbelt, because surely the first time you don't you will have an accident - maybe because you weren't wearing your seatbelt. I don't want to have to do IVF more than once because I was so cocky and sure of myself that I wouldn't wear my seatbelt.
I mean, ouch, it's a lot of money. But better to pay the money, have the opportunities, and not need them, than to NOT pay the money, not have the opportunities and be right back at square one, trying to decide which option to do the second time around.
Well, I guess we'll see, and time will tell.
Sept. 22 - baseline u/s
Oct 15 - start Lupron, 10 units per day (stop BCPs after a couple days of this)
Oct 22 - decrease Lupron to 5 units per day, start FSH at 225 units per day
Oct. 30 - monitoring u/s
That's it - no other appointments as far as I can tell, except my injection classes. It seems like when I read about other people's IVF schedules, they have regular blood and u/s monitoring. This sounds to me like I won't know until pretty much trigger day how many eggs I have, much less if I have any at all.
The other thing we have to decide, and soon, is whether or not to do the "shared risk" plan. The way it works at our clinic is, you either pay $8500 for one cycle, plus meds, OR you pay $14,500 plus meds for one fresh cycle, up to six FETs (depending on how many frozen embryos you have), and then one more fresh cycle, all of which must be used up within one year of start the original IVF cycle. Considering how much the meds cost, it's probably more like $11,500 for one cycle plus $17,500-$25,000 or more for the package deal.
I feel like in some ways, we have a lot on our side. We're young and healthy, and they can't find anything wrong with us. There's absolutely no reason why it wouldn't work the first time. On the other hand, we're unexplained - there's no real known reason why we can't get pregnant and therefore it could be something that IVF can't fix.
One of the things I keep thinking about is the jinx factor. If we only spend $8,500, we're pretty much ensuring we'll need to try again, since we didn't pay for the back-up. If we spend $14,500 as a safety net, surely it will work the first time. Sort of like how you should always wear your seatbelt, because surely the first time you don't you will have an accident - maybe because you weren't wearing your seatbelt. I don't want to have to do IVF more than once because I was so cocky and sure of myself that I wouldn't wear my seatbelt.
I mean, ouch, it's a lot of money. But better to pay the money, have the opportunities, and not need them, than to NOT pay the money, not have the opportunities and be right back at square one, trying to decide which option to do the second time around.
Well, I guess we'll see, and time will tell.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
miscellaneous
Dentist appointment yesterday. Funny how EVERYTHING reminds me of infertility somehow. I remember going to the dentist in July 2008 (I had to look that up) and deciding to get my x-rays done then because in 6 months I'd be pregnant. I even TOLD the hygeinist that. Sheesh, what an idiot I was.
The somewhat close friends I have, who are pregnant, are at the hospital right now, becoming parents. I have such mixed feelings about it. I'm happy that at least some of my friends are having kids (most of my closer friends aren't even considering yet, and I want to shake them and tell them how foolish it is to wait when they don't know if they're even fertile). I'm happy for them, especially because they seem so excited. I'm curious to find out whether they're having a boy or a girl (they didn't find out), and what names they've picked out (they won't share).
I'm also so sad for me. They started trying almost a YEAR after we did, and their baby will probably be born today. We're still months away from even getting started. Their journey from ttc to baby was less than a year. Ours will be, at the very least, almost three years. If we're lucky. Their journey was practically free. Ours will cost tens of thousands of dollars.
I'm so sad about all of that.
On the other hand - I'm also realizing that time is sort of flying. I'm supposed to call the IF clinic in September when AF arrives so I can start birth control, but I'm expecting it around August 30 (and then again around September 27 - does anyone know if I should wait until then?). I'm supposed to start Lupron around October 14, stims around October 21. So only two months to go until I'm in the thick of it.
And only two weeks to go until knee surgery. Which will probably take my mind off things for a while anyway.
And only forty minutes until I get to leave work for the day. Thank goodness for small miracles.
The somewhat close friends I have, who are pregnant, are at the hospital right now, becoming parents. I have such mixed feelings about it. I'm happy that at least some of my friends are having kids (most of my closer friends aren't even considering yet, and I want to shake them and tell them how foolish it is to wait when they don't know if they're even fertile). I'm happy for them, especially because they seem so excited. I'm curious to find out whether they're having a boy or a girl (they didn't find out), and what names they've picked out (they won't share).
I'm also so sad for me. They started trying almost a YEAR after we did, and their baby will probably be born today. We're still months away from even getting started. Their journey from ttc to baby was less than a year. Ours will be, at the very least, almost three years. If we're lucky. Their journey was practically free. Ours will cost tens of thousands of dollars.
I'm so sad about all of that.
On the other hand - I'm also realizing that time is sort of flying. I'm supposed to call the IF clinic in September when AF arrives so I can start birth control, but I'm expecting it around August 30 (and then again around September 27 - does anyone know if I should wait until then?). I'm supposed to start Lupron around October 14, stims around October 21. So only two months to go until I'm in the thick of it.
And only two weeks to go until knee surgery. Which will probably take my mind off things for a while anyway.
And only forty minutes until I get to leave work for the day. Thank goodness for small miracles.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Beginnings of a plan
I'm still waiting to hear from the orthopedic surgeon to see what he thinks about scheduling an IVF cycle soon after knee surgery, but my RE said she thought it was fine. So I'm beginning to get a schedule in mind. I don't think my husband is even willing to discuss it until I hear from both doctors though.
*** To clear up some confusion about my insurance - we have a high-deductible HSA (health savings account) plan. Once we meet our deductible (which is, as the name suggests, quite high), insurance pays for just about everything for the rest of the year (except, of course, infertility treatment). We have already met our deductible this year, so it just makes sense to try to do any expensive covered procedures before the end of the year. The insurance is through my husband, who owns his own company, so that will not be changing anytime soon. I declined my rather nice insurance through the state in September, conveniently right before we started seeing the OBGYN about infertility (argh, hindsight). I could theoretically get my own insurance for next year, but it sounds like none of the options my work offers cover infertility. It's complicated. ***
Here's the plan that's in my head:
July 11 - triathlon!
July 31-August 10 - Alaska (woohoo!)
August 16 - turn 31 (yay for birthday! boo for getting old)
August 30 - possible relay triathlon with coworkers (last hurrah)
September 3 - knee surgery
September 4-11 - off work for recovery
October 13 - approximate start date of Lupron (6 weeks after surgery)
October 21 - approximate start date of stims (7 weeks after surgery)
November 1-7 - projected possible dates of ER and ET (9 weeks after surgery)
This sounds reasonable to me. What do you think?
*** To clear up some confusion about my insurance - we have a high-deductible HSA (health savings account) plan. Once we meet our deductible (which is, as the name suggests, quite high), insurance pays for just about everything for the rest of the year (except, of course, infertility treatment). We have already met our deductible this year, so it just makes sense to try to do any expensive covered procedures before the end of the year. The insurance is through my husband, who owns his own company, so that will not be changing anytime soon. I declined my rather nice insurance through the state in September, conveniently right before we started seeing the OBGYN about infertility (argh, hindsight). I could theoretically get my own insurance for next year, but it sounds like none of the options my work offers cover infertility. It's complicated. ***
Here's the plan that's in my head:
July 11 - triathlon!
July 31-August 10 - Alaska (woohoo!)
August 16 - turn 31 (yay for birthday! boo for getting old)
August 30 - possible relay triathlon with coworkers (last hurrah)
September 3 - knee surgery
September 4-11 - off work for recovery
October 13 - approximate start date of Lupron (6 weeks after surgery)
October 21 - approximate start date of stims (7 weeks after surgery)
November 1-7 - projected possible dates of ER and ET (9 weeks after surgery)
This sounds reasonable to me. What do you think?
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