Monday, March 9, 2009

Crappy Weekend All Around

OK, my weekend wasn’t THAT crappy, it was just busy, and as my first weekend back after a two and a half week trip, I could have used some time to relax, clean the house, etc. Instead, my weekend consisted of a book club meeting, all day bridal shower/bachelorette party (literally from the moment I got up until I got home just before falling into bed that night), several hours of weeding, and driving an hour each way to have dinner with my mother (with whom I do not get along that well). The main positive was 30 miles of biking (split into two days).

The hardest part about the weekend was the constant talk about babies and pregnancy. At the book club meeting, the host asked who would like wine, and my pregnant friend (from this blog post) said “Well, I’d like wine” and patted her stomach. Sigh.

Then at dinner after the bridal shower, the talk turned to having babies and infertility and when people would start trying or even whether they wanted to have kids at all. I stayed out of the conversation entirely until focus turned on me completely (since I wasn’t talking) and people started asking me “What about you and L, do you guys think you’d ever want kids? Who wants them more, you or L? When do you think you’ll start trying?” I made some excuses and tried to answer as truthfully as I could (i.e., we agree about wanting to have kids, we don't really know when we'll have them). I wanted to just say “leave me alone!”

It made me realize how completely clueless I was before this happened to me, so I can’t really be upset with anyone, because that’s how I would have behaved. I'm certainly learning a LOT about compassion.

Anyway, that’s behind me now. Only one week (and a bit more maybe?) to go before we start IUI cycle #2!


  1. I'm sorry those conversations were so hard for you. I'm wishing you a calm but fast week.

  2. Ugh. Those 'when are you going to have kids?' conversations are so hard. I tell myself that one of the silver linings of infertility is my (hopefully) increased sense of empathy for others, so that I don't ask those questions anymore. Of course, sometimes my increased sense of empathy just wants to tell people to f@ck off, but mostly I keep that inside. :) Hope the week is better.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!