Plans

I'm not even sure where to start with this. Let's just say I was smart to be nervous about yesterday's ultrasound.

I had a big ol' cyst on my left ovary, so we paid about $300 to be told that we won't be doing anything at all this month. Actually, it turned out to be worthwhile anyway, because (after I cried for a bit), the doctor took us to her office for a consultation, which was quite useful because we got to ask all our questions and then some.

First, somehow there's never been a really good test of my husband's sperm morphology. I have no idea how this happened - I thought everything had been tested and was pretty darn good. So we are doing that next week.

Then the doctor said that she would recommend only one more clomid + IUI cycle before moving on. She said that typically you move on after three cycles, but since we missed our IUI in cycle #2, she thought it would still be worth one more shot (if the SA comes back ok).

After that, she suggested two options. First is to move on to IUI + injectables, BUT she would want me to have a laparoscopy first. The other option is to move on to IVF, without the need for a laparoscopy.

Let's break this down, shall we?

Option #1 - Laparoscopy with 1-3 cycles of IUI + injectables. The laparoscopy costs, apparently, about $4000-$5000, PLUS the doctor recommended a week off of work (yikes!). The injectables cycles are also about $3000-$4000 each, with only about a 20% success rate. To get to the same success rate as IVF, we'd probably need three IUI cycles. Total cost (worst case) is $17,000.

Option #2 - IVF. One cycle is $8500, plus meds, another $3000 = $11,500. The package plan includes one IVF, followed by up to 6 FETs (or as many frozen embryos that there are left), and once the frozen embies are gone (but not before), a second fresh cycle. $14,500, plus meds ($3000 to $11,000, depending on how many IVFs and FETs we'd need) = $17,500 - $25,000.

We're both thinking IVF will be the better option.

To make things more complicated, if I'm not pregnant by fall, I was hoping to maybe get my knee surgery done and out of the way. I calculate that between our break month, our last clomid cycle, and I assume another break month before IVF, it will be almost fall by the time we'd be able to get started. I would seriously consider putting off IVF by another month or two to fix my knee. I don't know if it would be a bad idea to put my body under that much stress for several months in a row (drugs and surgery, followed by rehab and IVF), but it would be nice to get it all over with.

It's way too much to think about, and I think I'm going to need some time off to actually do that thinking. In the meantime, I'll be reading Mel's Navigating the Land of IF, and trying to enjoy my time off.

And hopefully training for a triathlon on June 6.

P.S. Advice, while not necessary, is always welcome.

Twice in one day!

I am really nervous about my ultrasound this afternoon.

First, because it is going to be the first cycle with a higher dose of clomid, and I'm just praying it makes a difference. This should be the month for my right ovary, which has had two good follicles each time previously, so I'm really, really hoping a higher dose of meds will produce a couple more follicles. I'm thrilled that I should be starting the meds tonight - I HATE the time periods in which I'm not doing anything.

Second, I'm nervous because my husband is coming along and we're going to ask the doc some questions. I don't know if she'll have us make a follow-up consultation to discuss things, but I am really starting to want some answers. Here are some of my questions:

1. Why do you think that nothing has worked so far?
2. Should we do any more testing? If so, what do you recommend? (i.e. hormone tests, laparoscopy, more SAs, genetic testing)
3. Do you think I could have endometriosis?
4. Do you think that maybe there is a problem with my eggs?
5. What do you think our next step should be if this round doesn't work?
6. What do you think about IUI with injectables?
7. How would you compare IVF to IUI with injectables, in terms of costs and outcomes, keeping in mind our ages (30 and 34) and diagnosis (unexplained)?

I think it's a pretty good list, hopefully I remember it all!

Any other ideas?

ICLW failure

I suck. I've been having a hard week and have not managed to leave enough comments for ICLW, although I'm hoping to make up for it by the end of the weekend.

Two nights ago I had an argument with my husband and couldn't sleep - I have occasional insomnia and I don't sleep well in general. The lack of sleep upset my stomach (don't ask, I don't know why), so I spent yesterday feeling like a zombie with a stomache-ache. I promised my husband one nice dinner out before the IUI, so I made myself do it, but it was disappointing to not really be able to enjoy it.

Then I slept for 10 hours last night before my second ultra-sound this morning. The ultra-sound for which the clinic was running 40 minutes late and made my husband very cranky. The ultra-sound that showed that my lining is thinner than it has been for the last two cycles and that I only have one follice. One lousy follicle. I have no hope for this cycle anymore.

I know, one is all it takes. But I think it will be easier for me to look ahead to the next cycle and some changes the RE suggested. She wants to up my clomid dosage and maybe put me on estrogen. The husband said he wanted to ask them if it was really worth even doing another cycle. I feel like crying. Again. I hope it's the clomid that is making me this emotional.

So to sum it all up, I've had a fairly crappy week, a crappy uterine lining, only one follice (not sure if it's crappy), and a cranky husband. All I can think to say is TGIF.

Should every single Friday post be labeled TGIF? Because seriously, that's how I feel.

Work is kicking my ass. I'm not joking. It's amazing how during a fun weekend, two days speed by in the blink of an eye, but during half a workday, an entire lifetime goes by.

ANYway. I've started the Clomid, last night, I'm not even worrying about side effects this time. If they happen, ok, if they don't, fantastic. It really doesn't matter. I just want this to work so badly.

I haven't even started considering IVF yet and I already feel like a drug queen - this round I'm taking three different drugs using three different methods.

One thing I liked about the last IUI was that for the first half of the cycle, things were so busy. Remembering to take the Clomid, going in for the ultrasounds, doing the HCG shot, then doing the IUI. Then for another 4 or 5 days I was preoccupied with more HCG shots, but then ... nothing. It was like just hanging in space, wondering, trying to pretend I wasn't waiting for something in order to make the waiting more bearable.

Not that almost anyone reading this needs a description of the 2ww.

Anyway, besides the obvious reason that I'm happy about the progesterone because I'm hoping it will make a difference and cover more bases and maybe be the magical thing we've been missing, I'm also happy that I'll have have something to DO during the 2ww. I'll feel like I'm somehow contributing, helping things along, keeping myself busy.

I'll probably also be more pissed off and depressed if it doesn't work. Because what the hell, what in the world do you want from me?! (<----you = the universe)

Two for the price of one (no, not twins)

The SHG went great today! The doctor said I had a beautiful uterus, so I felt particularly proud of myself (for once). She’s such an awesome doctor.

We checked out my ovaries, and my right one is apparently responding well to the Clomid. As far as the left one – she said “you know that saying about how you have all your eggs in one basket?” I asked if that was normal, and she said it was fine.

I took some pain medication this morning, so I don’t know if that affected anything, but the procedure itself was painless. It was slightly uncomfortable when she was trying to get the catheter in, but otherwise I didn’t have any problems. I AM having some minor cramps this afternoon.

So we were of course thrilled. I mean, it would be nice to have a diagnosis, but since we’re already invested in this cycle to some degree, it would NOT have been nice to have to cancel it. Actually, it was amazing, on the way back to his office L even said “so we have some hope for this cycle, right?”

That’s not really characteristic of my completely laid-back, no expectations, life-happens husband. It was a little weird.

BUT. Before we left, they mentioned that they hadn’t received my bloodwork. Um …? I was never told to do bloodwork (aside from a brief mention at our initial consultation). Whoops. They gave me a lab slip and I went straight over there and did it right away. I even threw in a toxoplasmosis test for good measure (I have a kitty).

This was a different lab than we went to before, and the needle kinda hurt, I guess I’m a bit of a wuss. I used to give blood all the time, but I never really liked doing it. I think I’m just getting nervous for the HCG shot.

Anyway. I got TWO sets of tests done during ONE break from the office. Go me!


Update at 4 pm - Having yucky cramps now, AND I'm hot (is my office hot or is it the Clomid? I don't know). I'm REALLY looking forward to going home.

CD 2 of IUI#1 !!!!!

And heeeeeeere we go!

Today is a much better day than yesterday. Yesterday continued to suck with depression and cramps. Yesterday was not my friend.

But! Last night I slept. It was wonderful. I went to bed at 10:30 and I did wake up briefly (I think around 6) and got up at 6:30 and yay, I feel so much better.

And now I'm shocked that tomorrow is my first u/s!!!! Hooray! AND my first day taking Clomid! Not so hooray!

I'm wondering about doing an u/s while AF is here. That seems a little ... weird. I'll have to write about it tomorrow, I guess, if I have time. Tomorrow is a busy day. U/s in the morning, then work and training, then running with my friend and then rock climbing. At least, that's the plan.

So, here we are CD 2. It's exciting.

Our first treatment cycle starts - but first, I'm completely crazy

I’m really ashamed to admit how bad things got, and how crazy I’ve been.

I went running yesterday and had some bad cramps afterward, so I knew I was getting my period. Still, the cramps went away after I cooled down, and we went home and I checked and I had a tiny, tiny amount of blood, spotting again. Of course.

Fast forward to 4:30 this morning. And then rewind to 4-5am of the last few days. Me. Wide awake. Ugh. Previously, I was able to go back to sleep after tossing and turning a bit. Not today. I lay there thinking about how I felt ok. Didn’t have cramps.

OMG, I thought. My period hasn’t come! Even though today was really the earliest day possible, so it could still arrive at any time (and 4:30am was probably the earliest TIME possible during the earliest day). And um, HELLO idiot, I’ve been spotting for the last two days and having cramps. But what about the sore boobs?! I lay awake in bed at 4:45 arguing with myself. I wasn’t very rational.

Some of it was about money, and putting my husband through the infectious disease testing he had to do before we can start our IUI, which he was going to do this morning. I mean, what if I was pg? What a waste of money and time that would be, and what a pain for him.

Why, oh why, didn’t I buy a pg test? I mean, besides not wanting to jinx myself, of course. I could have just slipped out of bed, taken it, and known.

5am. Still can’t sleep. I’m making myself CRAZY. I decide it’s best to just get up and check things out. What could that hurt. But I don’t want to waste my FMU just in case. OK, I’ll check to see if AF has arrived, then pee in a cup. It hasn’t!!!! OMG!!!!!

So I pee in a cup, turn on the computer, and look up Rite Aid. WHAT?! It doesn’t open until 8AM? Whose stupid idea is that? But Safeway is open 24 hours. I toss on a sweater, socks, and shoes, and race to Safeway (but end up at Longs since it’s open 24 hours too). Buy a HPT. Race home. Shut myself in the bathroom (keep in mind it is now around 5:30-5:40). Stick the thing in my pee, and wait. This is a fast response test, you’re supposed to know in a minute (although you have to wait for three for final results). The control line shows up immediately. Nothing else does.

I go back to bed at 5:45 and don’t sleep until my alarm goes off at 6:20. L holds me, and I’m so, so happy to feel him against me, his arms around me. I know I’m so lucky.

I get up at 6:30, double check the test (nothing, of course), see that AF is finally showing her face (where was she two hours ago?!?!).

L got his testing done. I made my appointments. First u/s is Friday at 9:30. SHG is Tuesday at 11. We’ll schedule the second u/s at that point.

I’m emotionally and physically exhausted.

Today is an important day, because a new cycle has started. And Friday, treatment starts. So it’s a good thing, a milestone.

Also, I can totally, definitively say that we’re infertile. It’s definitely been over a year. No more fudging with dates, and worrying about whether it was the end of December or beginning of January.

I’m infertile.

Reality bites

It’s what I was more or less expecting, and although I have had a few periods of depression over the last 4 or 5 days, I’m feeling mostly level today.

I had spotting last night, of course. And a tiny bit today. I not only expect full-blown AF tomorrow, I had BETTER have it. Because if we’re going to move on this thing, I want to call the RE ASAP to start making my appointments. I’m totally dedicated to this. I want it to work SO badly.

So this week I’ll have my first u/s, hopefully Thursday or Friday (or maybe this weekend), and then start taking Clomid. Early next week I should have my SHG. Then around the end of next week or next weekend or so I’ll have the second u/s, and they’ll give me my HCG with an instruction of when to take it. Or else I’ll need another u/s before that, we’ll see. And then we go in for the big IUI.

I’m really excited and nervous. I don’t know if we get to do a blood test or anything before the 2ww is over, and even if we would, we might be in Italy by then, so I don’t know what will happen as far as determining the results. I know I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t work, which is too bad. I wish I could be a bit more realistic and less emotional. Ah well, that’s what L is for.

And now craziness sets in as well

I have NO reason to think I'm pregnant, considering we haven't had sex since (I think) January 2, which was CD 9, which is REALLY early when you consider that O should be around CD 13-14, and I’ve recently wondered whether I O a bit late (based on my OPKs). So – almost impossible this month, right?

But then we went in for our RE consult on January 6, which is CD 13, and I swear she said it looked like I just ovulated or would ovulate possibly that day.

So really, there’s a tiny possibility. Which I had been completely discounting.

But now my boobs are SORE. And have been for several days. I mean, how early do you get sore boobs?

OK, it’s Friday. I expect spotting Monday or Tuesday and AF Wednesday or Thursday. And it’s a win-win situation – no AF means HPT, AF means call RE and start scheduling away!

So I guess I should be happy! And I sort of am! I just feel a bit weird about it all.

Probably won’t post until I get spotting. But fingers will be crossed.


Update at 11:50 (after scarfing my lunch much earlier than planned): Now I'm totally convinced I'm pg and am restraining myself from going to get a HPT. I swear if no spotting by Tuesday, I will do it then. I can totally hold out 4-5 days.

OK. Here’s the plan. Again.

We’re going to push our trip to Italy back by a week, probably leaving on February 12 and staying about two weeks.

I expect AF on January 21 or 22. So I would have my first u/s sometime between January 21 and 26, more or less. Then, either at the same time or soon thereafter, I will have my saline contrast sonogram. Then I take the Clomid. Then I have my second u/s, and hopefully they can tell what’s going on. And then we decide what day to do the IUI, and they give me a shot to give myself (I think) to trigger O. Then L delivers his sample and I go in for the IUI.

In a nutshell.

And somewhere in all of that L gets his infectious disease testing. And the boy does not like needles. Great.

But! Hey! In about week we should be getting started! How’s that for ya?

Tech talk

Both L and I were happy with the consult with the RE last week. She was friendly, really nice, funny, and understanding. Best of all, she gave us an up-front assessment of our costs. She suggested IUI, which is, I’m sure, their usual first-line approach with just about everyone. Also, since they’re an infertility clinic and specialize in these things, I’m guessing they don’t waste a lot of time messing around with waiting and seeing.

Since we’re planning to go to Italy soon, theoretically sometime during one of our next two cycles, one of those cycles won’t be available for an IUI. Theoretically again, they’re both available for Clomid, and the one cycle where we’re here for the entire first two weeks would be available for IUI (with Clomid). I think the big question for us now is to decide whether we want to do an IUI yet, or just stick with Clomid until we’re back from Italy (which would put IUI around mid-March, with two Clomid-only cycles first). And if we do an IUI sooner, we have to decide which cycle we want to do and adjust our plans for Italy accordingly. Trouble is, we really need to buy our plane tickets soon.

The problem I’m having is I still keep thinking that next month is the month when it’ll work and I’m getting myself all worked up about nothing and I’ll look back and laugh at myself for being so paranoid. ARGH! I hate that!

Anyway, apparently an IUI cycle is around $1000. We do have to do some tests first. They want me to so an SHG (they quoted us, I think around $350), L has to do some disease testing because he would be considered an organ donor in California (?!?!?!), and I would have to do genetic testing. They also suggest doing another SA on L, but said that they can do it at the same time as the IUI. All of that will add up to between $1000 and $2000, I think. So we’re looking at $2000-$3000 for testing and one IUI cycle.

Well, that’s enough tech talk. The other good news is I had a fairly relaxing, not-too-stressful weekend in San Diego. That’s awesome. I came home incredibly tired and fell asleep on the couch watching TV after dinner, but at least I was completely stressed out. I need some more days like that.

Almost Christmas!

So just a quick update. Had some pretty awful digestional distress after dinner last night, which seems to have carried over to this morning (probably something to do with the cookie I ate after breakfast). I'm dreading eating my leftovers for lunch at this point.

Also, the digestional feelings feel a bit like cramps. Which is freaking me out a bit.

Also, I realized that for whatever reason, I circled Thursday as D-Day for AF. It's actually the earliest possible day based on my typical time-frame of 27-30 day cycles. Thursday would be CD 27. So in total theory, spotting could start today. Or as late as Friday. And AF could arrive as late as Sunday. So I won't even allow myself to think of a HPT until Sunday at least. Monday or Tuesday would be even better. Although the negative thinker in me says that I will be using my Diva Cup long before then.

And that's about it. Will update as I feel like it. I hate this stupid 2ww, but it would all be so worth it to have a BFP.

Update at 2:39 pm: Bboobs are definitely feeling sore today. Trying very hard not to get hopes up.

Dealing with infertility

Am I dealing with infertility? I'm not really sure what that means. I get up every day, I do all the things I normally do (plus sometimes a few extra things like POAS), and I agnonize over things my hubby is totally calm about. Wasn't I dealing with infertility for the last few months, before we reached the final "month 12"?

Eh never mind. I can't form a coherent thought today, I'm way too busy at work and majorly stressed about Christmas gifts. The amount of stress I was feeling yesterday was extremely NOT GOOD for my fertility issues. So then I started stressing about how much I'm stressing. Crap.

Anyway, I think my positive OPK was Thursday/Friday. Which makes me nervous that we didn't really cover our bases this month, since we didn't BD after Thursday. What if I didn't O until Sunday? Argh!!!!

My mantra seems to be "too early is better than too late".

Well, only about a week and a half until I should either know for sure that it's negative, or just keep wondering. Sigh.

Scratch that

8:30 am

So ignore what I said yesterday about OPK and POAS. Well, don't ignore it. But consider that I POASed last night at 10pm (because I forgot) and got a fairly dark line. Not a positive. But ... well, I'm hopeful. I'll have to keep L busy for the next few days =) Will update during the day about POAS for today.

1:30 pm

Did my POAS thing at noon. Got an almost positive or positive (it was really hard to tell). So happy that we took care of things yesterday.

POAS, rinse, repeat

First day of OPK POAS. Extremely faint line. I'm predicting a positive around Friday, give or take a couple days. I’m tired of POASing.

I called the doctor’s office this morning, too, but I got a message saying there was a high volume of calls. I’m not terribly interested in waiting on the phone, especially since there was no hold music and I kept getting suspicious that my cell phone had dropped the call. It was weird. I’ll call again this afternoon.

Although, I’m not sure what I’m going to ask. I hate to go in for an appointment just for her to tell me to wait a couple months. I hope if that’s what she has in mind, she does it over the phone.
I think this month’s two-week wait will be excruciating, but at least we’ll know around Christmas/New Years.

Tons of news

There is SO MUCH to write about this week, I don't even know where to start and I'll try not to get bogged down in the details.

First - Davis fertility clinic – yeah, not so much. They don’t diagnose or do tests, they only treat. They farm out the testing to labs, which means we could very well have ended up right back at the Sutter Davis hospital, which seemed silly.

The doctor called me early Wednesday morning (much to my own shock) and ordered an HSG. I was really upset b/c I thought we’d be missing another cycle, but hey! They scheduled us for Friday (this morning). I got a prescription for an antibiotic, which the doctor didn’t tell me when to take (so I spent all day yesterday calling and waiting for a return call).

Long story short, we had the HSG this morning, and everything looks fine. I think that in most ways that’s a huge relief. The HSG itself wasn’t bad at all – I read some stories online, and while most of the writers said they experienced cramping, and some said they had pain, I felt nothing. I did take two aleve this morning, which probably helped, but still. I was nervous, but that was about it.

They used the dye, which I watched on the screen as it went into my (teeny tiny) ute and out through the tubes. Crazy. I didn’t realize how small those particular body parts are, even though I’m sure I’ve seen pictures before. And now I’ve seen my own. Cool. Then they used some sort of oil which the doctors apparently believe can provide a sort of lubricant and increase the possibility of getting pregnant.

So there you go. Really nothing wrong at this point. I’m so relieved in most ways, although once again, it would have been nice to have some minor thing go wrong, have it easily fixed, and voila! No more problems. Still, hopefully this means that with no further treatment or minor medication only, we have a chance.

I’ll probably call the doctor on Monday, and see what she says. In the meantime, I guess I should go buy some more pee sticks and get ready for another month of ttc.

New era

Here’s what my Thanksgiving vacation looked like:

Wednesday – rush around at work, rush to my sister’s office, pack up the car with all these heavy carpet tiles, sit in traffic, get to my mom’s house, unpack the car, start laying carpet, sweep floor with old wooden broom and get painful splinter in hand, communicate with husband several times about whether or not he’s going to come to Roseville that night, discover spotting, husband very sweet but doesn’t want to come, feel depressed and hopeless, brine turkey, have half-way terrible night of sleep in waterbed.

Thursday – clean my mother’s kitchen, work on laying carpet, husband shows up, make bread, make pie, sweep kitchen, notice more spotting, feel depressed, feel stressed, cook turkey, finally finish carpet, put stuff back in family room, host huge number of people for dinner, drink lots of wine, don’t overeat (except for dessert), get painful splinter out of hand, have terrible night of sleep on the floor.

Friday – get period full-on, set up Christmas tree, unpack very basics for Christmas décor, have cramps, have lunch, brave ridiculous holiday crowds to buy some gifts, have more cramps, go out for nice expensive dinner, fall asleep in car on way home, fall into own bed for a fantabulous night of sleep.

Saturday – clean house, weed garden, out for lunch with husband, shopping for friend’s baby shower gift, work on mosaic, make turkey soup, discover that Cricket likes turkey, nice quiet dinner at home, buy books at bookstore (mostly husband), relax on couch to read together, go to bed for another wonderful night of sleep.

Sunday – sleep in, read, clean, early lunch, go stair-climbing and bouldering, bake bread (3 baguettes, 2 focaccias, 8 small French breads, 2 whole wheat loaves), lovely dinner of peperonata and leftover turkey.

TODAY – sucks! I checked the train this morning about 20 minutes before it should arrive (5 minutes before I need to leave) and it says on time (for 7:12). I get to the train station and the automated announcements say that it is arriving at 8:12. I thought, hmmmmm, that’s a little weird, their announcement is an hour off. Gradually, the announcements started getting later (8:14, 8:15, etc.). The train to the bay area pulled up, and EVERYONE on the platform got on. There was no one left waiting for the train to Sacramento. Then I hear the announcement that there is a bus heading to Sac, and sure enough, there everyone is, boarding the bus. People are stowing their bikes under the bus, which I’m not crazy about at all. I biked home, got the car, got the husband, gave the husband a ride to work, and got to work about an hour late. After waking up 20 minutes early.

Then I called the doctor about our IF problems. Doctor is out until Wednesday. I ask about talking to another doctor – they say they’d prefer I talk to my own doctor, but if she doesn’t get back to me on Wednesday, someone else can call me back. So I sent an email to the Davis fertility clinic.

It would have maybe been easier and cheaper to go with them first, and probably less delay and more information up front. It’s so frustrating. My OBGYN is very nice, but her office hasn’t really given us any official information about our situation, and all the info we’ve received has been over the phone after I’ve left a million messages. I feel like I want to be more involved in the process.

So am I infertile now? I’m not really sure, since I don’t know exactly when L and I started trying. I would say probably not until the end of the month under the strict one-year definition. However, for a couple our age who are just shy of a year ttc and still not pg – I’d say yes. So for this month, I’d call us “almost-IF”, and then definitely IF at the end of the month.

I’ll post more when I know more about our options and who we’ll be working with. To complicate the matter, it’s the end of the year, which makes this a pain for insurance purposes, and the holidays probably make it difficult to make appointments.

I’m feeling a strange combination of resignation, calmness, frustration, and impatience. I’m calm because I’m relieved to finally be moving forward and not waiting to see what will happen, but impatient because I have to wait to move forward because the doctors aren’t available! Argh!!!!

More later.

Emotional roller coaster

I'm on a serious emotional roller coaster these days, I can’t believe how many moods I went through over the weekend. Any tiny little thing L does wrong makes me enraged, any criticism he offers makes me almost cry. I HATE being this way, especially when there’s no explanation for it (like PMS).

Anyway. I’m feeling halfway normal today, so that helps. I majorly cleaned the house this weekend, although I’m sure my husband would say it’s still a mess. I try the hardest I can with what I have. For someone who works full time, raises their own vegetables, bakes their own bread, and is basically ALSO a full-time housewife, I think I do a pretty good job. He apparently feels otherwise. Well, screw him.

Speaking of which. I got pretty dark lines on my pee tests on Saturday and Sunday, although not clear positives, which I DID get on Friday. I’m hoping that taking care of things on Saturday morning really took care of them. I’m a little nervous and worried. Trying my hardest not to stress, but man that’s hard.

So yeah. It’s 11 days until I can even start wondering if we were successful this month. Probably 14 days until I would dare think of taking a HPT. 14 days seems like such a long time right now. Luckily Thanksgiving is in there to distract me a bit.

Not sure if I’ll write or not along the way.

Finally

Positive OPK yesterday (Friday), both at lunch and before dinner. Almost positive Thursday night, so we took care of things on Thursday. Hopefully we'll be trying again as soon as the boy wakes up. And that will take care of this cycle.

AF expected the day after Thanksgiving.

Man, I hate waiting.

Three cheers for pee sticks

I'm a bit tired of peeing on sticks. Besides the occasional annoyance with peeing on my hand, there's also the annoyance of sitting around in the bathroom at work for 5 minutes while I wait for a result. Five minutes is a long time to sit around in a public bathroom stall with nothing to do. It brings up a lot of questions (well, it does for me).

First, there are the easy questions. Do I stay seated on the toilet for 5 minutes? That feels a bit weird, with my pants down, usually down pretty far so I can get my pee sample. But the only other option I can think of is standing up for five minutes, which isn’t super comfortable either. Do I bring a book? Will people wonder what I’m doing with a book in the bathroom at work? Even with a book, 5 minutes is still a long, awkward time in the public bathroom.

I guess there aren’t actually any hard questions. Unless you thought those questions were hard.

Technically, it’s still to early to start testing. I’ve been using kits that have 20 pee sticks, so you can use one each day starting right after your period ends. I did this for a few months, and now I have a general idea of when I think I should O.

So this month, I tracked when I think it will happen, plus or minus a day or two, based on the slightly variable length of my cycles, and the fact that due to the annoying spotting I’ve been having at the beginning of AF, I don’t actually know when I should start counting the first day of my cycle.

Then I expanded that set of days to get ten days with my target about in the middle. So now I’m going to test twice a day, around noon and around 7 or so. Basically, right before lunch and right before dinner. That way, I can drink liquids with my meals without worrying about these stupid tests.

Also, I’ll be a lot better about not gradually inching my lunchtime forward so that I’m eating at 11:45, then 11:30, then 11:15, until I find myself eating lunch at 9:30 so I am hungry again at … lunchtime.

Anyway, that’s the plan, stan. It’s not off to the best start considering we’re having a potluck today at 11:30. So I’m testing at 11:20 today. But I’m not expecting anything today anyway.

As far as L really knows (since I’m not involving him too much in technical details right now), we’re just going to try to have a lot of sex this month. Which I think is ok with him.

Except I’m not drinking wine. Booo.