New era

Here’s what my Thanksgiving vacation looked like:

Wednesday – rush around at work, rush to my sister’s office, pack up the car with all these heavy carpet tiles, sit in traffic, get to my mom’s house, unpack the car, start laying carpet, sweep floor with old wooden broom and get painful splinter in hand, communicate with husband several times about whether or not he’s going to come to Roseville that night, discover spotting, husband very sweet but doesn’t want to come, feel depressed and hopeless, brine turkey, have half-way terrible night of sleep in waterbed.

Thursday – clean my mother’s kitchen, work on laying carpet, husband shows up, make bread, make pie, sweep kitchen, notice more spotting, feel depressed, feel stressed, cook turkey, finally finish carpet, put stuff back in family room, host huge number of people for dinner, drink lots of wine, don’t overeat (except for dessert), get painful splinter out of hand, have terrible night of sleep on the floor.

Friday – get period full-on, set up Christmas tree, unpack very basics for Christmas décor, have cramps, have lunch, brave ridiculous holiday crowds to buy some gifts, have more cramps, go out for nice expensive dinner, fall asleep in car on way home, fall into own bed for a fantabulous night of sleep.

Saturday – clean house, weed garden, out for lunch with husband, shopping for friend’s baby shower gift, work on mosaic, make turkey soup, discover that Cricket likes turkey, nice quiet dinner at home, buy books at bookstore (mostly husband), relax on couch to read together, go to bed for another wonderful night of sleep.

Sunday – sleep in, read, clean, early lunch, go stair-climbing and bouldering, bake bread (3 baguettes, 2 focaccias, 8 small French breads, 2 whole wheat loaves), lovely dinner of peperonata and leftover turkey.

TODAY – sucks! I checked the train this morning about 20 minutes before it should arrive (5 minutes before I need to leave) and it says on time (for 7:12). I get to the train station and the automated announcements say that it is arriving at 8:12. I thought, hmmmmm, that’s a little weird, their announcement is an hour off. Gradually, the announcements started getting later (8:14, 8:15, etc.). The train to the bay area pulled up, and EVERYONE on the platform got on. There was no one left waiting for the train to Sacramento. Then I hear the announcement that there is a bus heading to Sac, and sure enough, there everyone is, boarding the bus. People are stowing their bikes under the bus, which I’m not crazy about at all. I biked home, got the car, got the husband, gave the husband a ride to work, and got to work about an hour late. After waking up 20 minutes early.

Then I called the doctor about our IF problems. Doctor is out until Wednesday. I ask about talking to another doctor – they say they’d prefer I talk to my own doctor, but if she doesn’t get back to me on Wednesday, someone else can call me back. So I sent an email to the Davis fertility clinic.

It would have maybe been easier and cheaper to go with them first, and probably less delay and more information up front. It’s so frustrating. My OBGYN is very nice, but her office hasn’t really given us any official information about our situation, and all the info we’ve received has been over the phone after I’ve left a million messages. I feel like I want to be more involved in the process.

So am I infertile now? I’m not really sure, since I don’t know exactly when L and I started trying. I would say probably not until the end of the month under the strict one-year definition. However, for a couple our age who are just shy of a year ttc and still not pg – I’d say yes. So for this month, I’d call us “almost-IF”, and then definitely IF at the end of the month.

I’ll post more when I know more about our options and who we’ll be working with. To complicate the matter, it’s the end of the year, which makes this a pain for insurance purposes, and the holidays probably make it difficult to make appointments.

I’m feeling a strange combination of resignation, calmness, frustration, and impatience. I’m calm because I’m relieved to finally be moving forward and not waiting to see what will happen, but impatient because I have to wait to move forward because the doctors aren’t available! Argh!!!!

More later.