Thursday, December 18, 2008

Stasis

OK, let’s start over. Dealing with infertility. See the previous post for a clue about what I’m talking about. At my age (30) infertility is defined as being unable to conceive after one year of trying. The point I was trying to get at is that it’s not like there’s some invisible line I am right now crossing. I’ve been aware that we’re ttc, and every month gets a little more worrisome, a little more stressful, a little more sad, but as I reach that one-year point, I realize that really I’ve been dealing with infertility all along. I just didn’t always know it.

Anyway, I’ve given up on POAS this month. I don’t know why I’m getting so blasé about it, but I am. It’s part of me, perhaps, that thinks that the obsessing hasn’t really helped, and so perhaps being blithe and carefree (um right) will change something. Anyway, not obsessing has been rather nice.

Unfortunately, not obsessing is actually a result of my incredibly stressful work and pre-holiday schedule. So I’m still a bit worried about this cycle. And then … the big SHG. I think that when I call the doctor to either verify or reschedule that, I’ll try to talk to her about our options.

So anyway, we're down to a one-week-and-change wait. God, I hate the 2ww.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!