Reality bites

It’s what I was more or less expecting, and although I have had a few periods of depression over the last 4 or 5 days, I’m feeling mostly level today.

I had spotting last night, of course. And a tiny bit today. I not only expect full-blown AF tomorrow, I had BETTER have it. Because if we’re going to move on this thing, I want to call the RE ASAP to start making my appointments. I’m totally dedicated to this. I want it to work SO badly.

So this week I’ll have my first u/s, hopefully Thursday or Friday (or maybe this weekend), and then start taking Clomid. Early next week I should have my SHG. Then around the end of next week or next weekend or so I’ll have the second u/s, and they’ll give me my HCG with an instruction of when to take it. Or else I’ll need another u/s before that, we’ll see. And then we go in for the big IUI.

I’m really excited and nervous. I don’t know if we get to do a blood test or anything before the 2ww is over, and even if we would, we might be in Italy by then, so I don’t know what will happen as far as determining the results. I know I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t work, which is too bad. I wish I could be a bit more realistic and less emotional. Ah well, that’s what L is for.