20 weeks tomorrow

Wow, we've been busy, and I've been feeling run a little ragged.  My to-do list keeps growing, my motivation is lacking, and I'm always tired.  Mostly I'm trying to get things more organized around here (as always), and I've got lots and lots of projects going on at the same time.  Bulleted list?

• I need to get our guest room cleaned up and organized.  This has been happening, but slowly.  I've used it as a base to sort through the piles of maternity clothes I've got (which reminds me, there's a donation pick-up tomorrow), for my sewing projects, for furniture I've bought and we might not keep, Christmas wrap (that needs to find a method of being stored somewhere), etc.  It's a bit of a disaster, and we'll need it for guests and/or an au pair soon.
• Plane tickets for a potential trip to Italy.  There are so many variables - dates, airlines (since many flights are not operated by the airline selling the tickets), layovers, total trip length, travel times, etc.  It's very last-minute and getting rather expensive, too.  Also, I'm trying to avoid missing too much of our pre-planned summer activities here in the states.
• Organizing our house, schedule, and paperwork. I'm working on putting together a home management binder.  Trying to keep incoming paperwork under control until I get a chance to tackle our files and old paperwork.  Buying shelves and bins and things from IKEA to get the clutter under control and the kids things organized.  It's quite a job.
• Still trying to figure out babysitting/mother's helpering, etc starting in the fall.  Au pair?  Grad student?  Finding someone from Italy?
• Summer activities are pretty much taken care of!  The kids will be doing violin lessons and swim team, and maybe we'll continue indoor soccer, but I'm not sure yet.  They also have a week of summer camp with a friend, and $1 movies on Tuesday/Wednesday mornings.  I've arranged a babysitter to come once a week for my prenatal yoga, too.
• Fall - we should be getting notification of if our kids will be in morning or afternoon kindergarten in the next week or so, and I need to decide if we'll do AYSO (my friend called it All Your Saturdays Occupied, which is my big worry).  Since teams are not co-ed we'd also have two separate practices each week, which might be a problem.  I'm feeling really undecided about it.  I also don't want to overdo the organized activities, so we'll see.
• Fifth birthday party for the twins!  Their birthday is in 3 weeks, and I'm stressing a little about the party - mostly because I don't want to invite too many people and I don't want to offend anyone by leaving them out.  It's a tough balance, luckily most people are very understanding.

I had my first prenatal group appointment last week, which was pretty cool.  There were 4 husbands there, and one was pretty annoying, but everyone seemed pretty nice.  I was the only one who already has kids, so the midwife said she'd be asking me to discuss my experiences a lot.  Which is ok with me.  So far I've gained around 12 pounds (give or take), blood pressure is good, baby's heartbeat is good, and I'm feeling pretty great.  I've been getting a ton of exercise, eating pretty healthy, and keeping busy.  I admit that I'm nervous about all the usual things - the labor and delivery, breastfeeding, lack of sleep, etc., but I feel very positive about the pregnancy.  We have our big 20-week ultrasound next Wednesday, so I'm excited to see little Gecko.  He's been kicking up a storm lately!

One thing I forgot to mention in my previous post was that the midwife I had seen told me that one of the differences between a TOLAC (trial of labor after c-section, hopefully leading to a VBAC) and normal labor is that they won't let you go as long before intervening (with induction or a scheduled c-section).  With that in mind, she told me that during the last month of my pregnancy I should start taking red raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil in order to prepare my body for going into labor in a timely fashion, and without needed to be induced.  I'm excited.  How wonderful to have a pregnancy that is so normal!

She also asked about my expectations for labor and delivery - if I wanted to use a birthing tub, for example.  I explained about my experience last time, and that I would really like to use a tub or a shower or whatever is available and she said that I should go into my TOLAC with the expectation of having things turn out the way I want, and a plan for what I want to happen.  I am not sure I agree with her ideas.  I often feel that high expectations tend to lead to disappointment.  But I do agree with having a plan for what I want, and being cautiously optimistic that things will go well, even if they don't go exactly as I'd like. I'm trying to keep an open mind.  I understand that she is saying that I need to take charge of my birthing experience so I can steer it where I want it to go, and I am on board with that.  I just know from previous experience that it helps to be flexible in order to deal with disappointment.

So ... in about 3.5 months, I'll start looking into red raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil.  Woohoo!