Monday, June 8, 2009

Um ...?

UPDATED: Test was negative. Of course. I feel suddenly very sad.

Original post:

AF arrived at 4am on Saturday morning, at least 2 days early. I was not expecting it and totally unprepared. I also had a lot of cramping.

This morning (Monday), I got up, prepared for a new week and to call the clinic for my baseline, and voila. No more period. Um ... a 25-day cycle with tons of mid-cycle spotting, followed by a 2-day period? And actually, my last period was only 3 days, too. WTF?

The clinic scheduled me for a baseline tomorrow, but asked me to take a HPT today. Of course, I had just peed, so now I have to wait until I need to pee again to take the test.

I hate this. I had no expectations, this month just flew by, I had a great time. I also spent the last few days eating sushi, oysters, and cheese, and drinking tons of wine. I was ready to look to another treatment cycle with a peaceful heart. I don't want to take a HPT. I especially don't want to wait a few hours to be able to take it. I don't want to have that little bit of hope show up that will make my disappointment so much greater.

OK, I'm being a little melodramatic. I'm still excited about starting a new cycle. I hope I've learned a lot about hope, expectations, disappointment, obsession, and patience from this break cycle.

And btw, I'll post a pic or two of my garden when I get home this evening =)

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. I'm sending lots of hugs your way.

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  2. I am so sorry. I hope that one day soon, we will both see that sought after positive.

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  3. Sorry to hear that... but hey... you have a new cycle to look forward too... hopefully this will be a BFP! {HUGS}

    I just ended my cycle today and will be in a hiatus for a month or two I guess!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!