My monitoring ultrasound this morning didn't go as expected. I expected to have one crappy follicle on the left. Instead, on the right, I had one large follice (24x22), one good borderline follicle (around 16), and two slightly smaller ones. The doctor said if it wasn't for the large one, we'd put off triggering another day. She also said that at the size of the three "maybes" there could be mature eggs in all or none of them. So I have 1-4 chances this month.
I honestly was expecting bad news, was braced for it. I am so not in the mood to be hopeful. I've been doing somewhat better with the hopeless attitude of the last few weeks, despite my nearly constant urges to cry. At least I wasn't building up my hopes for a big fall. Which is what I KNOW is going to happen.
I want to continue on my merry way, planning my summer vacation (more on that in a moment), my knee surgery, and my fall/winter IVF. I do NOT (and I WILL NOT) look up a possible due date. NO WAY! This is going to fail, I'm sure of it!
Except, sigh. I'm NOT sure of it any more, and I don't want to feel this way. I want hope to go away and, if not die, at least be comatose for a while. Let me enjoy the beautiful weather and the hopefully relaxing weekends.
As a plus, we're going on vacation! To Alaska! I'm so excited! We were considering yet another trip to Italy to go to a cousin's wedding, and maybe a few days of "real" vacation (i.e. just the two of us, without all the relatives and friends), but it was too last-minute and too expensive and too much time off of work. And we have a friend working up at Denali National Park, and we thought ... let's go! A couple days of hiking, maybe a helicopter trip, a day of fishing, maybe an overnight backpacking/camping trip, who knows? The possibilities are endless.
So ... that's what I'll be focusing on. Planning my vacation. And trying to forget about this stupid IUI.
Just for posterity, and anyone who's curious, today is CD 13, the last day of estrogen, and the day of my HCG trigger shot (tonight at 10:30). IUI on CD 15 (Saturday) at 10:30 am. HCG supplements on CD 16 and CD 19, and progesterone starts CD 19 and goes until the end (CD 29ish).
And to satisfy my curiosity, here's a couple questions for y'all. Do you know (from experience or from reading/learning/research/hearing about it) if those follicle sizes sound good? Is there a chance of more than one egg, and if so, how great of a chance? Is it unrealistic to hope that one big, one medium, and two smaller follicles might mean a higher chance of actually conceiving?