Lilypie - Pregnancy

Friday, November 6, 2009

Ebb and Flow

I saw this on a blog or website somewhere recently, I don't even remember the context, but I thought - that's it! That is something I need to hang on to, this idea that things ebb and flow.

First, it is good to remember that sometimes things will be good and sometimes things will be bad, and they will never stay that way forever. That life is always full of ups and downs, and I need to remember to treasure the ups while they last and bear with the downs because I know that things will be looking up again soon.

But also I like the idea of remembering that time passes, sometimes it passes more quickly than other times, but nonetheless I will get through whatever it is that is bringing me down or making me irritable. Time will ebb and flow and so will my life, right along with it.

I am feeling more at peace. Thanks to all who sent me good wishes. Today is 9dpiui, but it doesn't really matter. Today is Friday, which is what matters. A day to see my friends at work and forget about the crappy stuff that is going on here. A day to think about my future - my evening with my husband, my weekend with friends and family, going to a new crochet/knit group in my town on Monday, a dinner with Italian friends on Tuesday. I'm thankful to be busy and have so many people in my life, family and friends, old and new.

I think it helps that I am working hard on organizing my house - I feel in some ways that it is a metaphor for me. It has been cluttered and disorganized, with half-done forgotten projects, papers that have needed to be filed for a year, things always being put aside because I would get to them later. Just like me and my life - a half-finished project at which I am faltering because I've lost sight of my goals, even my short-term ones.

And maybe I still don't know what the goals are, but at least I'm working on figuring them out, which is a huge step in the right direction. And along with determining my goals, I'm examining my soul, and my prejudices and my preconceived notions. I know it's a work in progress and always will be, but as the days ebb and flow, I hope that I gradually become the person that I want someday to be.

Maybe it's the season, it's paradoxically a time of being social and going to parties, but also of introspection and thinking and stirring up thoughts and feelings as the weather turns cold and we spend more time indoors, curled up in our houses like they are coccoons. Enjoying the beauty of autumn and the quiet of winter while dreaming of new life in spring. We're all really butterflies, getting ready to stretch our wings.

8 comments:

  1. I really love doing decluttering and organizing projects around the house. It's such a freeing feeling, bringing order to chaos, at least in a small way.

    Fingers crossed for you for this cycle. When will you test? I am not far behind you and will test on 11/14.

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  2. What a beautiful post. Absolutely gorgeous. Praying for you.

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  3. Beautiful. It's amazing how time always keeps flowing and highs and lows come and go. Decluttering always makes me feel better as well. I think you just inspired me to do some.

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  4. Thank you for reminding me that things do pass, even when we think it will never ever end. Thank you for this lovely post.

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  5. I am so moved by this post. Thank you for writing it, and for sharing where you are at.

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  6. you seem to be in a good place and i like that. i think that no matter where you are in your life, it's always important to stop and enjoy where you are right then. because that moment is fleeting and you'll never get it back. IF makes you long for the future and hate the moment that you are in and it was a constant struggle for me to remind myself always, live for the moment! thanks for sharing your thoughts. Lovely post.

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  7. Beautiful post! I hope you had a great weekend :).

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  8. Getting the house organized and the housework done always makes me feel more in control of my life. Silly, eh?

    Sending lots of good vibes your way! You're almost thru those dreaded two weeks!

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!