I peed on a stick, even though I saw some faint blood this morning. We wanted to be sure. Are the digital sticks really better? Is it such a great thing to see "Not Pregnant" spelled out like that? I don't really know.
Can I get out of this club now? I'm sorry I joined. I didn't really want to be infertile. Really. Please, stop the ride, I want to get off.
I'm trying to look at the bright side. I can keep drinking lots of wine! But the wine is making me feel not so great. I'm really past the point in my life where I want to keep getting drunk. The only thing the wine is helping with is speaking Italian, which I seem to be doing ok when I'm sober anyway.
Today is a day for crying and sleeping on the couch, I think.
I don't want to do this again. I don't want to have to do it again after that. I don't want to have to think about IVF.
I don't want to be sad on my vacation.
I don't want to go to dinner with my husband's friend and his pregnant wife.
Fuck all of this.