Lilypie - Pregnancy

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Time flies when you're having fun

I guess it has been a while. Sorry about that. Things got rather busy here, what with Christmas and all.

My mom and sister had a bit of a tough time getting here, because the weather right before Christmas was terrible. The visit went ok - my mother was a pain in the ass, but I expected that. It didn't really feel like Christmas, seeing as it was the first time that I've ever celebrated it with someone else's family, and things are more low-key here among my in-laws. My mother also chose the moment when my husband was trying to get them out of the house and to the train station on time to start lecturing me on home births and how nothing about this pregnancy is about me, it is all about the babies and therefore she should tell me exactly how to do everything because I apparently can't manage on my own. I wasn't very nice to her in return, and I don't feel in the least bit bad about it. Probably one of the hardest parts of becoming a parent is going to be reducing any bad effects my mother has on my children.

Right after Christmas, we left for Provence with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend, and my husband's uncle, aunt, and 7-year-old cousin. We had a great time investigating small villages, eating some huge meals, and checking out the sites in Arles, including the old Roman theatre and amphitheatre. Luckily, my nausea was mostly in remission during the trip - not sure why. The lower altitude? The weather? Better sleep? Certainly not the food - dinners were huge, saucy, and heavy. And oh! the soupe de poissons with toasted baguette slices, rouille, and gruyere - I don't think I've eaten this since my honeymoon, besides when I've tried to make it myself, and let me tell you, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It is hard to believe I am already 11 weeks pregnant. Almost done with the first trimester, and it's going pretty quickly. My symptoms have not been fun at all - plenty of nausea, some occasional vomiting, constipation and other random forms of indigestion, and this weird feeling in my gut that I can't really describe. I'm finding that some physical activity seems to help, so I'm trying to get motivated to get outside and do stuff, but trust me ... I don't feel like it. And the kinda crappy weather doesn't help.

So that's where we're at. We have yet ANOTHER big dinner tonight in the fort here in town (there are better websites, but they are all in Italian), and probably a big lunch tomorrow with the family, and then a lunch the next day with more family, and omg I really hope that is the end of the huge meals even though I'm sure it won't be.

I will be back in the good ol' U.S. of A. in approximately 10 days, and shortly thereafter I have my NT scan at 13 weeks. Here is an interesting question - after being in Italy for three weeks, my husband will undoubtedly have tons of work to catch up on, and leaving the office in the first couple weeks is something he'd rather avoid. The NT scan is at an office that is a good 30-minute drive from work for him, plus extra time to pick me up from work and drop me off again, PLUS I guess the scan itself normally takes a while (lets say an hour to an hour and a half for two babies? I don't really know). I also have an OB appointment that week, very close to his office, but I'm guessing it will be routine, no ultrasounds or anything. So the options are:

1. Go to the NT scan, which would be 2-3 hours out of the office for him (not cool), but he'd not only get to see the babies but be there in case something is wrong.

2. Go to the OB appointment, which I'm guessing would be a waste of time for him? Anyone know?

3. Not go to either - I just don't want him to miss out on anything important, either good or bad.

What do you think?

P.S. Thanks for the comment(s) so far, but let me clarify - DH owns and manages his own company and usually works 9-12 hours a day (or more) plus 1-2 days per weekend. He can come and go as he pleases, but things suffer when he is not there, so after three weeks of telecommuting, any extra time away from the office during normal business hours is tough. Therefore, I usually only ask him to leave work when I think it's really worthwhile. So that's the real question - is it worthwhile?


  1. Hmm, the food sounds great :). Makes me wish we were back in Capestrano... I'd never had such amazing food before!

    If it were me, I'd probably want DH at the NT scan. But, it sounds like he doesn't really want to take off for it? Can he go in to work an hour early and leave an hour late one day to make up for the missed time?

  2. Sounds like you are having a great time!! Sorry to hear about your mom's comments.

    As for the doctor appointments, I think I would want my husband at the NT scan. The ob appointment will probably be pretty routine - weight, bp, and heartbeat check. The ultrasound will be much more exciting.

  3. My two cents... I would let DH off the hook. My husband has a demanding job as well and I've only had him go with me a couple of times to spare his stress. Plus, I'm guessing there will be plenty of wonderful opportunities for him to enjoy with you in the months to come.

    Take care! Hoping for a great appointment either way!

  4. Also, will your OB be at your NT scan? If so, you could ask him/her what will take place at your OB appointment and that can help you gauge if DH should go to that one either.

  5. I definitely think the NT scan is worthwhile...but the OB appointment I think it's fine the miss. The NT scan is really interesting...

    Italy sounds AWESOME!!! Have a wonderful remaining time there.

    Happy New Year!

  6. Definitely the NT scan. Most of my OB appointments are boooooring especially after having experienced all the action at the fertility clinics with all the ultrasounds. My OB just talks to me. The NT scan is amazing! You get to see the babies move around and see all their organs and stuff. It was definitely important for my husband to see them moving around to connect with them. It's well worth it - I promise you.

  7. Our NT scan also included genetic counseling, so it would be important probably for him to go to that. Ours had lots of questions for my husband. My husband really enjoyed the NT scan, seeing the babies wiggle around and hearing the heartbeats. He was SO EXCITED, and that's kind of a rarity for him. Probably have him skip the OB appointment.

    Sounds like you had a lovely time on vacation! Glad you were feeling good.

    Happy New Year!

  8. Soooo excited for you!! I start my 1st ivf cycle in Jan. Best wishes for 2010!

  9. I recommend to him the book, "The Expectant Father". It has helped me tremendously (my wife is 32 weeks, 4 days pregnant). It really put into into perspective the significance, to both me and to my wife, of me being at every appt. I could. The only right answer is the one you both agree on. We had one dose of "bad" news at a doc visit, and I am so thankful that I pushed past the pressures I felt from missing work to be there before the docs told us the report. I would have felt terrible if my wife were there alone to bear such a burden.

    Anyhow, we have a pregnancy blog, too, where we chronicle it all. My wife writes a lot more frequently than I do. Check us out!

  10. To be honest I don't know the difference between the NT scan & a regular u/s. When we had our daughter, my hubby only came to about 3 appointments the whole pregnancy. From what everyone is saying the NT scan sounds pretty important so I would think he would want to come. I read your comment and hope our little issue is nothing. I go in tomorrow morning to be sure. Glad you are having a good time!


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!