Monday, July 6, 2009

What to do next?

I had a pretty good weekend in Tahoe, but I can promise you, I will never go to Tahoe on the 4th of July every again! Traffic was terrible - I spent over 7 hours in my car for an overnight camping trip. It was fun hanging out with my friends and meeting new friends, but I really missed my husband and wished I was with him. I also spent a good 20 minutes in the car on the way up, bawling. I was hoping I wouldn't get pulled over and the cop would think I was crying to get out of a ticket.

I haven't had time to catch up on blogs and comments yet, but I will within a day or two.

In the meantime, reality is setting in rather slowly. It's been a good, solid year and a half of ttc, with tons of testing, a diagnosis of "unexplained", 3 IUIs, and one medicated DIY cycle. It's time to admit that we just can't do this on our own, and we need a nice friendly doctor to introduce our sperm and eggs to each other, and perhaps force them to get along.

As with all things in life, though, it's just never that simple. I have a job I don't like, and which I now know I will be at for another year at least. I have a knee that is going to need surgery sooner or later. I'm about to turn 31, which is not terribly old in terms of ttc, but it's older than I hoped to start having children in my vague life plan. I have a vacation to Alaska coming up, a triathlon to do, and a husband to send off to Germany for a conference in September. Most of all, I have a yearning in my heart to have a baby, just get on with this and get to where I want to go, to stop all this delaying and messing around and really get serious about it.

So here I am.

Plan A - go to Alaska in August, send the husband to Germany in September, have my knee surgery in October, and start IVF ASAP after that, probably end of October or first half of November. Earliest possible date of 9 months after IVF would be approximately July 2010 - one year from now. Possibly look for another job, but with surgery, IVF, and a two-week Christmas vacation in the works, who would hire me?

Plan B - still working on it. Go to Alaska in August. Send husband to Germany in September. Try to squeeze in a round of IVF between August 10 and late September (is this possible?). Forget about triathlons after July (no problem), postpone knee surgery until another year, but still plan to go to Italy for Christmas.

There are so many variables that it's impossible to figure out.

Insurance - does not cover anything IF-related, but will cover knee surgery 100% because we've met our deductable this year. If we put it off another year, we might have to pay thousands of dollars for knee surgery.

Timing - I don't know enough about IVF to know if the timing will work out this summer, between our vacation and my husband leaving for the conference. If we have to wait until after his trip, I feel like I might as well wait another month and have knee surgery. If we don't have to wait until after his trip, then I might want to just get started right away.

PIO - I'm terrified of it. Not so much that I won't do IVF, but enough to make me dread it.

My job - I hate it, but I don't think I'm going to have an option to change with all this going on in my life.

I will be reading about IVF in Navigating the Land of IF, but if anyone has any advice, as always, it will be gratefully accepted.


  1. i have to tell you, i too was TERRIFIED of the PIO shots. (and the retrieval, since i've never had any surgery) i was anxious ALL DAY waiting for my first one. when it finally happened, i was like, oh, that's it? they REALLY aren't THAT bad. the needle looks HUGE, but really it's a pinch and it's over. for 10 minutes after i massaged the area and applied heat and walked around and that helped avoid bruising. every step of IVF was never as bad as i thought it would be.

    also, in terms of timing, usually you start on BCP for 3 weeks before beginning all the other shots. the whole thing is about 6 weeks long, so if you are trying to figure out if you can squeeze it in before september, you should definitely meet with or call the doc soon to figure it out. i think i started the BCP on day 1 of my cycle.

  2. I know that deciding when is probably a difficult thing and I hope you find some things to make it easier. A couple of things I think of while reading your post. First you mention the knee surgery and if you put it off until next year you may have to pay a lot more for it. That sounds like it could be a big deal. You also have to figure that if you change jobs you may not have the same insurance coverage and may end up paying out even more. Plus I'm not sure what kind of knee problems you have but would added weight from pregnancy make it worse? Also your trip at Christmas. If you did IVF sooner you would possibly be pregnant for the trip and not just in your first trimester. And while it may not be so far along that you couldn't travel, healthcare is often very different in other countries. What if there was some sort of problem and it happened somewhere other than home? As far as the time line for IVF it varies for each person to some extent. They will use bcps to sync your cycle with everyone else who will be cycling that month. So figure that you could take them anywhere from a week to three or so weeks. Then when you start stims those usually last 12-14 days. Then retrieval and either a 3 or 5 day transfer. The clinic should be able to give you a calendar with their "schedule" for the months you are considering cycling (they did me) and when they are likely to be doing ER, scans etc. Whatever you decide is right for you. Good luck with the decisions. Hugs to you.

  3. I'd go with Plan A. You'll have had a wonderful, exciting vacation with your DH. He'll have work trip out of the way. Your knee will be nicely healed by the time you're very pregnant - and it'll be paid for. And really, you'll have accomplished all of that in about 6 months! That's a lot!

  4. I say plan A too. knee surgery is something you won't have time to deal with once you are pregnant and it's best to have it paid for. i hear it is not cheap!

  5. I don't usually give assvice...but since it was solicited....

    All I'll say is it took us MONTHS just to get used to the idea of IVF and all that goes with it (plus all that is already going on in life). Now I know you had some time to consider the possibility, but now it looks like a future reality...and my only advice is to take you time. The right plan, A, B, or C...will reveal itself to you. You don't have to figure it all out today or tomorrow or even next week.

    Let this all sink in. It sunk hard for me...

    Also, the knee surgery will be rough...and you can't do it while your pregnant...but doing it before will add more waiting....

    but there is always waiting on this journey.

    Don't know how much that helped. Feel free to take all or none of my lowly advice.

  6. The thought of IVF can be so scary. I was completely terrified before we started. Although IVF demands that it has to be a big priority in your life (because of shots, blood draws etc), I would also recommend trying to continue to live your live as normal (in as much as that is possible). Good luck as you make your decisions. We'll be here for you. x

  7. I guess I don't really have any advice - except that if it would be difficult to pay extra $$ to do knee surgery next year, and you then have a baby and IVF bills to pay, it might be easier to have it done this year. Can you move that surgery up at all? Also, maybe you could change jobs after Christmas? It's a little longer stuck in a job you hate (and I feel you there), but then you wouldn't have to worry about IVF or surgery or vacations getting in the way :).
    Mel's book is great - it did answer a lot of questions about IVF that I didn't even know I had.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!