I had a pretty good weekend in Tahoe, but I can promise you, I will never go to Tahoe on the 4th of July every again! Traffic was terrible - I spent over 7 hours in my car for an overnight camping trip. It was fun hanging out with my friends and meeting new friends, but I really missed my husband and wished I was with him. I also spent a good 20 minutes in the car on the way up, bawling. I was hoping I wouldn't get pulled over and the cop would think I was crying to get out of a ticket.
I haven't had time to catch up on blogs and comments yet, but I will within a day or two.
In the meantime, reality is setting in rather slowly. It's been a good, solid year and a half of ttc, with tons of testing, a diagnosis of "unexplained", 3 IUIs, and one medicated DIY cycle. It's time to admit that we just can't do this on our own, and we need a nice friendly doctor to introduce our sperm and eggs to each other, and perhaps force them to get along.
As with all things in life, though, it's just never that simple. I have a job I don't like, and which I now know I will be at for another year at least. I have a knee that is going to need surgery sooner or later. I'm about to turn 31, which is not terribly old in terms of ttc, but it's older than I hoped to start having children in my vague life plan. I have a vacation to Alaska coming up, a triathlon to do, and a husband to send off to Germany for a conference in September. Most of all, I have a yearning in my heart to have a baby, just get on with this and get to where I want to go, to stop all this delaying and messing around and really get serious about it.
So here I am.
Plan A - go to Alaska in August, send the husband to Germany in September, have my knee surgery in October, and start IVF ASAP after that, probably end of October or first half of November. Earliest possible date of 9 months after IVF would be approximately July 2010 - one year from now. Possibly look for another job, but with surgery, IVF, and a two-week Christmas vacation in the works, who would hire me?
Plan B - still working on it. Go to Alaska in August. Send husband to Germany in September. Try to squeeze in a round of IVF between August 10 and late September (is this possible?). Forget about triathlons after July (no problem), postpone knee surgery until another year, but still plan to go to Italy for Christmas.
There are so many variables that it's impossible to figure out.
Insurance - does not cover anything IF-related, but will cover knee surgery 100% because we've met our deductable this year. If we put it off another year, we might have to pay thousands of dollars for knee surgery.
Timing - I don't know enough about IVF to know if the timing will work out this summer, between our vacation and my husband leaving for the conference. If we have to wait until after his trip, I feel like I might as well wait another month and have knee surgery. If we don't have to wait until after his trip, then I might want to just get started right away.
PIO - I'm terrified of it. Not so much that I won't do IVF, but enough to make me dread it.
My job - I hate it, but I don't think I'm going to have an option to change with all this going on in my life.
I will be reading about IVF in Navigating the Land of IF, but if anyone has any advice, as always, it will be gratefully accepted.