Tuesday, May 5, 2009

What are your plans for Sunday?

I'm curious to know what others usually do and will be doing this year for M____ Day. Besides participating in OMG You Rock! Day of course.

Here's my situation. I don't really feel like I can get out of celebrating because I still have a mother, even if I so far haven't managed to become one. My sister, mother, and I are going to the cemetery to see my dad's grave, then we're going wine-tasting (my participation will depend on my HPT that morning, of course), and then to my mom's house to make her dinner (which she won't be happy about because she prefers to be taken out to expensive dinners, but my sister can't afford it).

(Just for some background and reference, I don't get along well with my mother. She is demanding, manipulative, controlling, and insincere, and she would be incredibly offended if I didn't plan a huge day with her on Sunday, despite my current condition. She also treats my SIL terribly because she believes my brother "married below his class and status"(!) So if I sound snide when discussing her, it's usually because she deserves it.)

I don't know if my brother, his wife, and their two kids will participate in any part of the day with us or not (even though they live a few blocks away from my mom). My family is a bit disfunctional, obviously.

On Saturday morning before M_______ Day, I usually go to the Farmer's Market and buy two bouquets of flowers - one for my dad at the cemetery, and one for my mom. I honestly don't remember if I've ever gotten anything for my SIL, but I'm guessing I have. However, I'm feeling particularly bitter about it this year. Not bitter towards her personally, just bitter about the fact that they're pretty much done family-building at the tender ages of 22 and 28, and I can't seem to even get to the starting gate. I don't really see why I should have to get her flowers. But I don't want to look like a b!tch.

So my questions are - What do you do for M_________ Day? Do you celebrate with your mother (if your mother is still alive)? Do you celebrate with other women in your life (i.e. sisters and/or friends) who are mothers? If you celebrate with multiple family members, do you honor them all, or just your own mother? Or do you avoid it all entirely (and if so, does your mother understand or does she feel slighted)?


  1. I always remember my mom with a card, gift and phone call, but I rarely spend the day with her anymore because she lives over 2000 miles away. (I also have to give my stepmom a card and call, even though she married my dad when I was 18 and is not at all a "second mother" to me.)

    Aside from the brief remembrance of my mom and stepmom (and, starting this year, my MIL), I usually just treat it like any other day.

    This year, my husband very kindly planned a weekend getaway to San Antonio for us. Not sure he purposely did it to coincide with Ms Day, but I am excited about the trip nonetheless and touched by his thoughtfulness.

  2. I'm not sure if I "fit" into your question, but I'll answer it anyway! This year, my goal is to not end up on the couch crying. I did a fairly good job of it last year. I've tried really hard to ignore everyone on M's day the last few years. I would rather not go to my MIL's house. Not because I don't love her, but because I just can't. Not right now, at least. Maybe next year. UHG, I'm so pathetic, sorry!

  3. i just sent my mom some flowers and call her. She's 2.5 hours away from me, and since we just saw each other on Easter, I think that's good. I don't do anything for my SIL, and I won't be doing anything for my sister this year. Guess that means I just don't really celebrate it...

  4. I send my mom a card, and that's it. She's 4 hours away and out of town until that evening anyway. My husband sends a card and calls. My friend (who just went through a messy divorce) and I are going to a spa to get massages and pedicures for some girl bonding time. Last year my neighbor had a big barbeque for M___ Day and it was hard to be at home, same as usual, with the festivities next door. I am thrilled for the special plans this time!

  5. I just send a card and call my mom because we live in different states. This year is our first year living close to my MIL, so I guess we will take her out for brunch or something. But otherwise it is just another day for us.

    I don't do anything for anyone other than my mother, MIL, and grandmother. I figure it's their kids' responsibility to honor them as mothers.

  6. My mom doesn't celebrate mothers day because of religious beliefs. I have a chosen mom who I usually get a card/gift for and if I'm in town I'll do something with her but I'm not usually in town. It's often just me though. Her son gets her a card usually. Other family members to individual cards and gifts.

  7. My mother passed away last year, we may go to the grave on Mothers' day. I'm really not hip on visiting graves, and I can never seem to find hers. Last time I found my grandmother's grave, not my Mom's, so we may go there and just visit somebody, my aunt is buried there so we're bound to stumble upon one out of the three. But I have to work, which eats up a chunk of the day, not a problem. I got a gift for my MIL and while I'm at work my husband will visit her and drop it off.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!