Frustrations

I'm having a rough day.  We picked an au pair, and I notified him yesterday that we'd be choosing him, but today our local agency said they could not approve him because he's male and their policy is to not accept males from that particular partner agency in Italy.  I don't know why.  And they won't make an exception.  Even though I spoke to someone there who seemed to think it would be fine if the partner agency was ok with it, but I don't have that in writing anywhere.  In the meantime, they put our second choice au pair on hold so no one else would choose her, and she got an automated email about it, which she is taking to mean that she's been selected.  In the end, it probably doesn't matter, since our hand has been forced and we'll have to go with our second choice, who is totally fine and will be a good fit as well.  But it's annoying to have this experience - it leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.  And we have only a few days before our "match deadline" to get someone here before the baby comes.  And my husband has been out of town.

I've been trying really hard to be happier and more understanding towards my husband, but today is testing my resolve very strongly.  He left for Europe last week, throwing last-minute party the night before he left.  He left a huge mess, and encouraged the kids to stay up late and sleep in all weekend, which made school and other morning activities last week really tough.  I'm still cleaning up the mess from the party, not to mention dealing with the lice by myself.  I can't comb out my own hair and see what I'm doing, so I used a second round of toxic lice shampoo just to be sure I didn't have anything still.  I've done more laundry in the last week than I have in the last several months.  I've managed the house and the kids and becoming an unexpected volunteer for AYSO soccer and volunteering in my kids' classroom and doctor's appointments and a ton of other crap completely alone, while he's visiting family and friends and hiking in the Alps (and yes, working, but still).  When I told my friend that he'd be coming back late Wednesday night, she said she hoped he was going to take the kids for the weekend so I could get a break.  Um no.  HAHAHAHA.  I will be taking them to two soccer games and a birthday party 45 minutes away and then to visit my mom, and he will probably not join. because he doesn't like kids' birthday parties or visiting my mom, but HELL, WHO DOES?!  Even if he comes for the soccer games, I will be in charge of getting everyone ready and to the field on time and bringing all the crap we need.  Then the kids have a violin concert up in the foothills on Sunday that he has already told me he doesn't want to go to, and a birthday party invitation at the same time in the other direction, which I'm sure he ALSO won't want to go to, not to mention if we do someone has to buy a gift for it.

I'm just feeling like I don't have much left to give at this point, and also in the meantime I'm working for his company FOR FREE.  I guess I will feel better once I get this all out, but MAN I'm irritated with him right now.  Beyond irritated, really.  Even though I know he didn't cause some of these problems and it's not totally his fault, I'm feeling really unsupported and lonely these days.

Anyway.  It's going to be a tough week, I have the dentist on Wednesday and volunteering and prenatal visit on Thursday, so two days are completely shot as far as getting stuff done while the kids are in school.  Which leaves me 3 days of 2.5 hours, approximately.  One of which is almost gone, I'm down to one hour today after dealing with all this au pair crap.  So I have about 6 free hours this week.  Actually, that tells me I better get to work.