Monday, August 24, 2009


This post is going to be random and disorganized and a mess, a bit like me these days.

1. Infertility - it's really getting me down these days. I can't believe that our 2-year anniversary is looming. OK, I admit, it's still 4 months away, so I'm being a little melodramatic. Also, I'm hoping that IVF #1 works before then, and the anniversary will never actually happen. Still, I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would still be here 20 months after starting ttc. I added a new ticker, hoping that it will make the IVF seem a little more real. It seems so far in the future right now that it doesn't seem like it will ever happen.

2. Speaking of melodrama, my family is driving me nuts. Whenever I think things can't get worse, of course they do. I have about lost my patience with the paranoia, guilt trips, whining, complaining, squabbling, and the constant "call me back TONIGHT because I think my son's wife's friend's boyfriend is crank calling me and therefore something terrible will happen to me and it will be all your fault" phone calls and messages. Suffice to say that my mother really needs to be committed to a psycho ward, but is clever enough to act normal any time she is evaluated by a professional - to the point that she gets the professional to agree with her that all of her problems are someone else's fault and she is the ultimate victim. In the meantime, I feel like I am living in a Je.r.ry nightmare.

3. Knee surgery plans are coming along. I donated a little bit of blood and pee today for pre-op tests, and I should probably start taking a look again at the "medications and foods to avoid" list. I'm happy to be getting it over with.

Those are the three big things going on in my life right now. I don't have any IF-related news, quite honestly. AF should be arriving sometime around the end of the week or during the weekend. At least I'll have some contact with the IF clinic then. And at some point, we have to actually PAY for the IVF. Sigh.


  1. good luck with your upcoming knee surgery. it will be nice to get that out of the way so you can focus on more important things :)

    i had a crazy "friend" once who finally went to see a professional and spent all her time there talking about how f*ed up everyone ELSE was! she would constantly say "i think you are.....and you should.....and my therapist thinks so too." the worst crazy people are the ones who think it's not them, but everyone else! so sorry you have to deal with that.

  2. Wow, your knee surgery is coming up fast! Is it almost September already?!?

    And I just took a look at your ticker and saw that your IVF cycle is right around the corner too. That's some good stuff :). Too bad they don't do "first one's free" for IVF...

  3. Hope the family drama calms down or that you are able to just ignore it for a while. I also hope the knee surgery goes well with a fairly quick recuperation.

  4. Happy ICLW :)

    My husband is Italian too (with other stuff mixed in, but the biggest chuck is Italian)...

    Family drama is so fun (rolling eyes) .. I had a friend like that who would call me up all depressed and crap and talk about suicide and she'd get mad at me for not playing into her little attention seeking behavior... when it was clear that was all it was after the first couple of times. And I'll stop there with that story before I leave you a novel on that person.

    I hope that your surgery goes well and you heal quickly, there for being able to start what you need to get the ultimate goal you want :) {{HUGS}}

  5. You'll feel better once you get to the knee surgery, 'cause after that, things will start happening quickly! You'll be too occupied to be sucked into the family drama. I'm so sorry it's draining all your energy right now. :( Hopefully you can block them out and concentrate on YOU!

  6. Family drama can be so draining and infertility always sucks. SO, big {{{hugs}}} to you.

    Hope your knee surgery is completely successful.

  7. IF sucks no matter what stage of the game you are in.

    Family drama is so emotionally draining, we are dealing with alot of it also.

    Good luck with the knee surgery !


  8. I hope that your surgery goes smoothly and that the start of your IVF comes quickly for you! I hope that cycle will be IT for you. Sorry about the family drama.


  9. I hear you about the family drama thing... My family can be doing pretty good and then all of a sudden it all blows up and every two seconds I'm getting phone calls or emails about 'did you hear this' and 'can you believe they did that' types of stuff.

    I hope it gets better soon.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!