I am in a weird place right now. Besides being terribly behind on commenting (I just got back from vacation - I'm behind on EVERYTHING!), I am feeling a bit at a loss.
This month, I desperately DON'T want to get pregnant. At least, I don't think so. Because my knee surgery is Thursday, Sept. 3, and I expect AF around August 30th, and I can't help but wonder if just the fact that it would be terribly inconvenient, something could actually happen this month.
After all, I am unexplained. Which means that who-the-hell knows why it's not working? And therefore, who knows if and when it will ever work? Which means - why not now?
And secretly, I wonder if this is what the universe has been waiting for - a supremely inconvenient time to finally let us experience pregnancy. It would sure save us a LOT of money (like $15,000). But I would have to cancel surgery at the last minute, and I can tell you the hospital really wouldn't like that at all. Not to mention, I really want to get this knee surgery over with.
Last night I read the information packet the hospital sent me. Turns out, I will be on crutches for 1-2 months, and should not even consider running for 4 months. I can't ride my bike until I'm off the crutches. I am an active person. This is going to be torture for me.
I KNOW it's better to get it over with ASAP so I can start getting back in shape. But I am feeling a little down about it. And I don't like knowing I'll have to really watch what I eat since I won't be able to exercise. Sigh.
If I sound confused and anxious and cranky, it's because I am. Worse still (maybe) - it's my birthday on Sunday! I'm turning 31! I mean, yay, birthday! But, booo, one year closer to that magical cut off date of Advanced Maternal Age. Sigh again.