Lilypie - Pregnancy

Friday, August 14, 2009

Knees and birthdays

I am in a weird place right now. Besides being terribly behind on commenting (I just got back from vacation - I'm behind on EVERYTHING!), I am feeling a bit at a loss.

This month, I desperately DON'T want to get pregnant. At least, I don't think so. Because my knee surgery is Thursday, Sept. 3, and I expect AF around August 30th, and I can't help but wonder if just the fact that it would be terribly inconvenient, something could actually happen this month.

After all, I am unexplained. Which means that who-the-hell knows why it's not working? And therefore, who knows if and when it will ever work? Which means - why not now?

And secretly, I wonder if this is what the universe has been waiting for - a supremely inconvenient time to finally let us experience pregnancy. It would sure save us a LOT of money (like $15,000). But I would have to cancel surgery at the last minute, and I can tell you the hospital really wouldn't like that at all. Not to mention, I really want to get this knee surgery over with.

Sort of.

Last night I read the information packet the hospital sent me. Turns out, I will be on crutches for 1-2 months, and should not even consider running for 4 months. I can't ride my bike until I'm off the crutches. I am an active person. This is going to be torture for me.

I KNOW it's better to get it over with ASAP so I can start getting back in shape. But I am feeling a little down about it. And I don't like knowing I'll have to really watch what I eat since I won't be able to exercise. Sigh.

If I sound confused and anxious and cranky, it's because I am. Worse still (maybe) - it's my birthday on Sunday! I'm turning 31! I mean, yay, birthday! But, booo, one year closer to that magical cut off date of Advanced Maternal Age. Sigh again.

8 comments:

  1. I hear you about the wondering. Our ttc break is almost over, but every month I have wondered about what it would mean if I miraculously got (and stayed) pregnant at this juncture.

    I don't have any answers for you... just distraction techniques (I've been researching everything I possibly can for our NYC trip, stressing about passport issues, and trying new recipes). I hope the time goes by quickly and that you are able to have the surgery.

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  2. Happy Birthday!
    I know about wondering (although I've never been able to do anything more than wonder). Good luck with whatever you decide.

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  3. I had to smile when I read the part of your post about how a pregnancy could happen this month because you are "unexplained" and it wouldn't be convenient due to your knee surgery. I had the same thoughts last cycle because I had a MRI of my arm scheduled, and I have long wondered whether God/the universe/karma is toying with me through this TTC process.

    BTW, don't feel too bad about turning 31: I'm way ahead of you! I'll be 40 before you're 35! ;-)

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  4. Happy *early* birthday hon! The Universe is a tricky gal. She sure does love to throws us curve balls. I hope everything turns out the best for you!
    *HUGS*

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  5. I know what you mean about how thinking b/c this is the month when you don't want it or would be fine if it didn't happen right this moment, of course that's when it will come.

    Happy birthday!

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  6. you'll probably still be able to kayak...

    Happy Birthday!

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  7. Early Happy Birthday! 31 is still a yung'un. :)

    I'm so glad you had such a fantastic trip! Once the knee surgery is over with you'll be glad you got it out of the way. I know you'll do great! You'll be back in triathalon shape before next year!

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  8. Isn't it weird to not want to be pregnant for a change? I hope your surgery is uneventful and that the IVF works the first try!

    ICLW
    www.brandysheaif.blogspot.com

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts!