Well. I have been away from blogging for a while. It wasn't a conscious decision, it was just one of those things. I have a love-hate relationship with blogging, and I needed a break. I'm still not sure if I'm coming back. But sometimes I feel like I need a place to share, to unburden my mind, and air my thoughts, and wander through my own brain. Sometimes I feel like I'm just complaining too much, that my posts are all negative, or that if they're positive, they sound annoying and boastful or preachy. So I don't know.
Don't get too excited with this next paragraph. There's no "real" big news. The somewhat big news is that my husband has told me that he realizes it's not fair for him to unilaterally decide we won't have more kids. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I've had some time to ponder it. Like, ponder it for real, as if it were an actual possibility instead of a pipe dream that I knew would never happen. I've been going over the pros and cons in my mind, as I have basically been doing for the last four years since my twins were born (Turtle and Tadpole are 4 now, can you believe it?!?!). I've written about it many times before, and I don't think I want to review it now, but the main things I want to reiterate is that I have no plans to go back to infertility treatment, and I'm a little terrified of deciding I want another child and failing. I know my husband is worried about that, too, worried that my resolve to avoid further treatment will weaken and we will be right back in that mess we were in before.
Interestingly, my identical twin sister is now pursuing fertility treatment. Although her doctors say there is no link between both of us having infertility, especially since mine was unexplained. So there's that.
So. I'm working my way towards an answer, and I hope to reach it soon. Time is ticking.
In the meantime, here are a few points of what's happened this summer:
- We went to Europe (mostly Italy) for 6 weeks, including a week-long vacation in Elba, and a 6-day trip to London to visit friends. We also stopped in Pisa to see the leaning tower.
- We went camping to Mammoth. So much fun.
- The kids are back in preschool, and I'm getting mentally ready for them to go to kindergarten next year!
- I'm still looking into career options. Life is really busy and I'm doing so much work for my husband's company that I don't have a lot of time for my own career at the moment, but I'll get there.
-. I'm getting back in pretty good shape. I ran a half-marathon yesterday, my fourth in the last two years. Half-marathons are really hard.
That's it for now. I haven't been reading blogs much either, but I may start again. Although, in general, I'm looking to get away from the computer more. I need some screen-free time myself.