Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Two sayings I hate

1. "After they're born, sometimes you'll wish they were back inside you."

Nope. Definitely not. For many reasons, but mostly because the last month or two of pregnancy was really quite miserable. I was so swollen and stiff. In the morning when I woke up, I couldn't move my fingers for a good ten or fifteen minutes, and only then by gradually and painfully working my way back to mobility. I couldn't write. I could barely type. My feet were humongous and I had no ankles. I barely fit into my husband's shoes. My back hurt, my hips hurt. I had heartburn. I couldn't sleep.

By the way, two years of infertility does NOT deprive me of my right to complain about the last few months of twin pregnancy. Especially to people like my husband, who got the benefits of having his dreams of having children realized without any of the physical uncomfortableness (unless you count having to sleep in the same bed with me and my giant body pillow).

Also, the first trimester wasn't all that great, what with the nausea and vomiting, and the second trimester was characterized by terrible hip pain, although it probably wasn't as bad as the first or the third. I DO think that pregnancy is totally worth it in the end, and I would do it all over again if I had to. And it wasn't all THAT bad. But being not pregnant is still better.

So yeah. I got SO SICK of people saying that to me. Because NO I DO NOT WISH THEY WERE BACK INSIDE, no matter how hard things get. I was quite happy to be pregnant and now I'm quite happy that it's over.

2. "Enjoy them, it goes by so fast." Or the related but actually different "they grow up so fast".

The time does not actually go by fast. I think that anything when viewed in retrospect seems like it goes by fast, except possibly spending a significant amount of time in solitary confinement. But to me, my whole life seems to have gone by pretty quickly, including the time before the last nine months.

I loved college. It seems like it went by so fast. I hated law school. It also seems like it went by so fast. So I don't really think that there's anything special about parenthood that makes life go faster. And I particularly don't like this statement because it creates a lot of pressure, which for me sort of ruins the moment. I don't want to feel like I HAVE to enjoy this moment all the time, because inevitably I get worried that I'm NOT enjoying it enough, and I'm squandering my childrens' childhood. And I HATE that. I just want to relax (ha) and enjoy it. And people say that stupid statement ALL THE FREAKING TIME. It drives me nuts!!!

The other similar statement is that "they grow up so fast", and this one is actually true. In nine months, they have gone from completely helpless little creatures who could wave their arms and legs around, drink milk, cry, and poop, to little miniature people who smile, laugh, "talk", sit up, roll, crawl, fight, eat "real" food, stand up, play with toys, bite, cry with real tears, splash, and interact with other people and the world around them. That's a LOT of change that happened in nine months, so yes, this is true.

Still, I hate it for exactly the same reason. I don't want the pressure of having to enjoy it, and worrying that maybe, just maybe, I'm not enjoying it enough. So people! (Not you, blog readers, but everyone else). STOP TELLING ME THIS, OK?!


Whew, thanks for letting me get that out of my system.

What do people regularly say to you that you hate? Besides "just relax" or "just adopt" or "he/she/they must have used fertility treatments".


  1. I agree completely with both of yours - especially the "you'll wish they were still inside" comment. NO I DO NOT and you wouldn't either if you vomited every day for nine months, morons.

    My brother-in-law had an intestinal problem while we were staying with them last week and complained about it so freaking much that I wanted to shake him and say, "yes, being nauseous does suck, like how I was nauseous every single day for almost ten months except for the few weeks I was on a drug to stop the nausea which resulted in my being so constipated that I got a hemorrhoid I had to have removed surgically which HAPPENED THE SAME WEEK I GOT SHINGLES SO SHUT UP ALREADY."

    Anyway. My current least-favorite comment is, "oh, but it just gets harder from here." To which I want to respond, "suck it."

  2. lol - it's so funny, the first line of your next post is "the kids are growing up so fast!" ;) I'm just teasing. I feel EXACTLY like you do about BOTH of those sayings!
    But - we didn't get into all of this to be pregnant, we did it to get our beautiful children! I love being a mom, with all the guilt it brings :), but I didn't love being pregnant at all. Still, I'm glad I got to experience pregnancy, but I didn't enjoy it.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts!