Actually, things aren't going well here, mostly because of sleep issues. Have you ever dealt with 9 hours of jetlag? When you already have issues with insomnia? Our babies, who are now 5.5 months, adjusted after a few days. Unfortunately, we've been here a week and Mama still hasn't adjusted. I think the problem is that when you can't sleep a few nights straight through on the new schedule, your body just things you're napping. So I wake up to feed a baby, and I don't get back to sleep because hey! According to my body, it's not actually bedtime yet. Even though it's 3:20 am and I've only slept from 11pm to midnight. Ugh.
I want to catch up on the last few months, but I don't want to overwhelm with a long post. Here are some bullet points of the last few months, the current situation, and more interesting differences between Italy and the states:
- SIDS doesn't seem to be a blip on anyone's radar here. Babies sleep with little tiny pillows, sheets, blankets, etc. I keep wanting to tell people that they're not miniature adults, they're babies! They don't need miniature pillows.
- No one here swaddles, apparently. My in-laws keeps complaining that we're putting Turtle in a straight-jacket, and when they are watching him, they don't do it (and he doesn't sleep well). I know he's a bit old at almost 6 months, but it really does help him sleep.
- I'm worried I'm developing PPD. Can you develop it this late in the game? Actually, I think it's been coming on for a month or two now, exacerbated by some really shitty stuff that happened a little while back. I'll have to ask my hubby if he's ok with my posting it on the web, and then you'll see what I mean.
- The babies are freaking adorable. I'm so in love with them, even after I've been alone with them for hours and am just dying to hear another adult voice.
- Tadpole can roll over! And over and over and over. She's gone from a sweet, smiley little thing to a fireball of energy and attitude. She's still smiley, though.
- Turtle is a little charming heartbreaker who actually does smile and even laugh now. He's also starting to grow some hair (ahead of his poor sis). Most of the time he can only roll back to front, but I've seen him occasionally go the other way, too.
- The babies wake up a LOT at night still. It's frustrating. Especially for an insomniac.
- I am supposed to go back to work in May ... I want to rethink my career before then. I thought I wanted to be a SAHM, but I'm not so sure anymore. I think I'd like a part time job so I can get out of the house and be part of the real world again. But I don't think I can go back to my old job. So I need to figure out what I want to do.
- I'm having a very hard time maintaining friendships and making new friends. I feel very isolated, especially now that we're in the rainy season in California and I can't even get out of the house with two babies. I'm very lonely.
- I miss exercising. It was a big part of my old identity ... I spent most of my time at work, cooking/baking, gardening, and doing sports. I don't do any of those things anymore. I don't do much of anything at all anymore.
Missed you! Sorry to hear that you might have PPD...I would imagine that it hits people at different times especially with the difficulties of having twins (although I know you love them to pieces!). It's a lot of adjustment combined with a systemic change of the hormones from your body. I hope when you get home that you can see your doc about it. I can't even imagine what it's like to deal with the jet lag! How did the twins take to flying?
ReplyDeleteYes, it's quite common to develop PPD between 6-9 months. And it often gets missed because it seems too late for that. So stay on top of it! :). Great to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteGood to "hear" from you! (And btw, I've always wanted to visit Italy, so I'm envious.)
ReplyDeleteI haven't had a baby (yet), but nearly all my friends have. Based on what they describe, I think many of your feelings are normal, and I can imagine having twins just makes things even more challenging.
Oh, and I feel for you on the insomnia and sleep deprivation. I can't even imagine! I think that alone would be enough to make a person feel very off.
Looking forward to hearing more.
Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteYes, it could be some PPD. If you think it is talk it over with your doctor. I hope you find something that helps with that. Good luck with the job stuff and I hope you survive the winter.
Excited to see an update! Hope you are getting a little more sleep. Enjoy your time in Italy!!
ReplyDeleteomg, Italy! How amazing! I hope your stay there was wonderful! And if swaddling helps, do it! You need all the sleep you can get!
ReplyDeleteI can't speak to the PPD 'cause I haven't had one yet, but I'd definitely say you're sleep-deprived and isolated. Have you checked out meet-up groups for your area? Sounds like the part-time job is a great idea.
It's good to hear from you.
ReplyDeleteSo glad we aren't the only ones who still swaddle.
I had PPD and started taking medicine for it about 5 weeks after the babies were born. Talk to your GYN or a specialist about it. The meds helped and now I'm about ready to go off of them. I also felt incredibly lonely and isolated. It helped me a lot to go back to work, but full time is a LOT and if it were possible to teach part time, I would. I would think part time would be ideal.
Very often, I go to sleep shortly after the babies go down. That might mean going to bed at 7:30, but it helps tremendously with the waking up in the middle of the night. I'd also mention this to a doctor.
Ahhh, Italy. Sounds lovely. :)
We did a 10+ hour jet lag around 1.5 months ago! It wasnt fun, but everybody adjusted in around 10 days or so! It is going to be a different story when we head back because the babes will be much older (alert and mobile)! They are loving the attention they are getting and the wonderful weather unlike the blizards that are happening back in the east coast!
ReplyDeleteHope you get to speak with your OB about the PPD. Take care!